a recurring rant
rendered raw,
railing in there
my rank is rather low
rut created by you set in deep
why can't you remember
I am not my brothers
I am the daughter
you never understood
somewhere down the line,
you stopped me from rotating
"yet you rallied for me
when I wrecked my heart"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry for this rant, but I needed to get it out. The "R"s helped and so did the limit of 55 words! More than enough, I would think!
Update: When I posted it, I was rather very angry. Not any more. So I interchanged couple of sentences. And it is no longer a rant. I could have taken it off. But am letting it stay. As a reminder to myself to control my anger.
23 comments:
Sorry you're suffering - but at least you're suffering creatively.
ViV
better to get it out than let it fester...hope you feel better soon...
It's always good to get the emotion out, Sorry it's so painful, but hope your poem helps the healing,
I agree with everything that's already been said. Writing is a wonderful outlet for homeless emotions.
I always am reminded of the line—"How do I know what I think until I read what I write."
Serenity NOW Gautami...
Relax....
But it does make for a great 55!!
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
'You stopped me from rotating' is a GREAT line!
This poem is raw.
The alliteration works well.
I felt this... "I am not my brothers
I am the daughter
you never understood"
Thanks for sharing.
Glad you explained. I thought: pretty generous anger. I like that coda.
Interesting to wonder about revising poems in a different frame of mind--change the mood? explore it?
it is good to stop rotating to catch your breath.
beautiful 55.
Full of emotion. Sometimes right.
It's good to let it out.
Nothing like a good rant to clear the emotions. You ranted with the letter "R which is appropriate. I hope no more ranting will be necessary.
Yes, Gautami keep writing it does help. I also hope things get better for you.
Pamela
I think it is good to get things out, and in doing so we touch others who may be feeling the same. We are all her for each other, and sharing is good.
xo
I haven't seen so many R's since the I watched that last pirate movie. (Arrr! LOL!)
Dang, I wish I'd caught the earlier version. I like a good rant.
Powerfully poetic!
Oh.. this was good!! When angry, it's better to let it somehow!! And out this way (as a poem on a blog) is much better than on people! :)
Cuz the former, you can edit/recall.. but the latter, you can't!
A ROARRRRRING 55, G! :)
Anger can be constructive as long as one can also let it go. As others have said, using it up in this poem was a good choice, and it made a good clean bit of writing. Nicely done.
GREAT RANT
emotive powerful and expressive in such an economy of words.
joanny
"you stopped me from rotating" -- such a a powerful line!
The raw nature of this works, and R is a perfect sound for such a piece.
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