Wednesday, January 12, 2011

a singing note

a speck I see afar
my eyes don't waver
nor do I move
moist surroundings still me
I see the dot getting bigger
a dog yelps somewhere
a harmless sound
yet I jump
symphony of my tapping feet
reach my eyes shutting them
when I open again
the speck is gone

"my song, your music, they dance together"

16 comments:

twitches said...

moist surroundings still me

That's a great line!

Tess Kincaid said...

Love that symphony of your tapping feet!

Sheilagh's Sweet Nothings said...

wow very descriptive.Well done

ThomG said...

Love this new vein you're on, the kicker of a last line. And so many great lines in this. Very descriptive.

Jinksy said...

Sometimes our eyes and ears play tricks...

jaerose said...

You always leave me with a sense of the emotions running through your 'stories'...very clever writing..Jae

Ramesh Sood said...

I enjoyed it.. thoroughly.. thanks!!

Jingle said...

elegant writing..

Mama Zen said...

This is so real!

Suko said...

Much to love about your poem!

Tumblewords: said...

Oh, this is wonderful!

Kavita said...

I smelt rain in this one... I guess it was the 'moist surroundings' effect.. really liked that!
Music really works wonder on one's mind..does it not? Quite magical indeed.. in its various forms..

signed...bkm said...

"moist surroundings still me"....beautiful...music indeed...bkm

Reflections said...

Beautifully descriptive... love the line, 'moist surroundings still me'... wonderful images of those tapping feet.

kathew said...

toe tapping great!

Trulyfool said...

gautami,

Likening a passing eye 'floater' to a musical note to nearby sounds to one's own rhythm to the disappearance of the 'dot'.

Followed it that way, and liked it!

Trulyfool