Friday, March 04, 2011

rivulets of space

spaces. unseen spaces.
can you parade it between us-
tangible in its wake
I leave my space to smile at your a boyish charm
a flame gasps and slips in between
I let it defy with my typical thinking
a space can't question it

I put my elbow on my thigh,
go into a trance
creating bit more space

"we can let it melt later, merging it with musty rivulets of ourselves"

21 comments:

Laurie Kolp said...

Dreamy and intriguing... nice take on the prompt!

vivinfrance said...

There's more to this than meets the eye! I suspect eroticism here... Lovely.

Linda Jacobs said...

Love the last few words! "musty rivulets of ourselves" Wow!

flaubert said...

Gautami, a dreamy piece. I love the ending.

Pamela

Mike Patrick said...

I find myself staring off into space as I ponder the depth of this poem.

Tumblewords: said...

I love the final lines! Rich!

nan said...

unseen spaces . . . very nice work, as always, guatami!

Tilly Bud said...

I love the idea of tangible spaces.

thingy said...

Very pretty and soothing, Gautami.

Shari said...

Interesting thought-provoking poem. Very nice flow. I also suspect there's more here than meets the eye. Nicely done!

Cathy said...

Interesting poem, seem a little bittersweet too.

Mardianv said...

More to this than meets the eye - indeed! Great last line!

Joseph Harker said...

Like Tilly said, tangible spaces is a curious notion... makes me think of picking them up, rolling them around between fingertips. And sharing something so curious is certainly intimate and beautiful.

Harshad mehta said...

Enjoy that S P A C E.

Jingle said...

very beautiful wording..

you rock.
A++
:)

The Write Girl said...

I love the creative space this poem operates in. Nicely written.

lunawitch15 said...

I wish I couldwrite like that....

Ramesh Sood said...

I am no more amazed..no more surprised..I come to read something unique here...I find it.. feel happy..and move on to return.. Thanks!!!

Gyanban said...

Subtle erotica is very sensual indeed - was it by design or accident?

Jingle said...

love your take on the big tent poetry,

I tried this time, here is mine:
http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2011/03/big-tent-poetry-in-55-words.html

Thanks for reading.

sandra said...

beautiful lovely images and emotions!