Poetry for me is a way of living, it comes out of nowhere and I have to write it down. How I write, what I write, I decide. I am not asking you to be judgemental. I am gifted with the ability to see beyond the obvious.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
unknown gap
some thing flutters I watch wings unfold midnight blue resonates
slide of it is a tribute to the earthy feel of scented surroundings
I find 'slide' a rather uncomfortable way of expressing a silk or satin smoothness... It's a bit too close the the recent images of earthquake/landslips...
How about something like 'its whisper is a tribute' because silk whispers, and also gives an impression od sliding?
Hope you don't mind my suggesting a re-think? The butterfly image works well with midnight...
The fluttering thing is not a butterfly....and there is nothing silken in here....at least not when I wrote it. If it got converted after I posted, then I don't know anything about that...
Like others, I'm seeing beauty and delicacy here, G. This is lovely, precise, and small. I just want to watch it alight on my hand, afraid to breathe lest it leave.
23 comments:
the first part makes me think og butterflies....
cool imagery, Happy Sunday.
:)
Spring blooms come to mind. Great Sunday 160. Thanks for playing again this week.
A delightful picture in words.
I could only think of dreams here... cuz my mind drifts into such gaps in dreams... in and out.. in and out.. :)
Vivid and beautiful, Gautami!
Oh, you've been to the Bad Lands too? :)
this is lovely!
I find 'slide' a rather uncomfortable way of expressing a silk or satin smoothness... It's a bit too close the the recent images of earthquake/landslips...
How about something like
'its whisper is a tribute' because silk whispers, and also gives an impression od sliding?
Hope you don't mind my suggesting a re-think? The butterfly image works well with midnight...
That last line is intriguing and a bit scary. This is a thinker, which I like very much.
The fluttering thing is not a butterfly....and there is nothing silken in here....at least not when I wrote it. If it got converted after I posted, then I don't know anything about that...
I watch wings unfold
midnight blue resonates ... ooh just lovely!
All those wonderful feelings..makes it worth taking that step..Jae
Thanks for sharing...
A++
Fantastic images cascade my mind! Great write!
Your use of English is interesting, idiosyncratic.
The fall took me by surprise; I was too busy staring at the butterfly.
My Blog
The unusual word configuration of this poem allows each of us to read our own interpretation into it.
I saw the curiosity in something beautiful leading me to danger! Intriguing post.
Love the line 'midnight blue resonates' I'm a midnight person too!
<3
Your gap remains unknown to me but I enjoyed your poem that had people thinking of butterflies, dreams, blooms, etc...
Thank you for sharing your link with me.
Cool poem - provides some structure and guidance, but it is up to us to figure out what it is.
Thanks!
Meryl
http://departingthetext.blogspot.com
Like others, I'm seeing beauty and delicacy here, G. This is lovely, precise, and small. I just want to watch it alight on my hand, afraid to breathe lest it leave.
Excellent.
calm imagery here, in your wings..! :) liked it.
Post a Comment