Sunday, March 13, 2011

unknown gap

some thing flutters
I watch wings unfold
midnight blue resonates

slide of it is a tribute
to the earthy feel
of scented surroundings

my feet fall into big gap

23 comments:

Brian Miller said...

the first part makes me think og butterflies....

Jingle said...

cool imagery, Happy Sunday.
:)

Monkey Man said...

Spring blooms come to mind. Great Sunday 160. Thanks for playing again this week.

keiths ramblings said...

A delightful picture in words.

Kavita said...

I could only think of dreams here... cuz my mind drifts into such gaps in dreams... in and out.. in and out.. :)
Vivid and beautiful, Gautami!

Alice Audrey said...

Oh, you've been to the Bad Lands too? :)

magiceye said...

this is lovely!

Jinksy said...

I find 'slide' a rather uncomfortable way of expressing a silk or satin smoothness... It's a bit too close the the recent images of earthquake/landslips...

How about something like
'its whisper is a tribute' because silk whispers, and also gives an impression od sliding?

Hope you don't mind my suggesting a re-think? The butterfly image works well with midnight...

Maggie said...

That last line is intriguing and a bit scary. This is a thinker, which I like very much.

gautami tripathy said...

The fluttering thing is not a butterfly....and there is nothing silken in here....at least not when I wrote it. If it got converted after I posted, then I don't know anything about that...

Deborah said...

I watch wings unfold
midnight blue resonates ... ooh just lovely!

Jae Rose said...

All those wonderful feelings..makes it worth taking that step..Jae

Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis Hall said...

Thanks for sharing...

A++

Anonymous said...

Fantastic images cascade my mind! Great write!

Anonymous said...

Your use of English is interesting, idiosyncratic.

Catherine Denton said...

The fall took me by surprise; I was too busy staring at the butterfly.
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Old Egg said...

The unusual word configuration of this poem allows each of us to read our own interpretation into it.

I saw the curiosity in something beautiful leading me to danger! Intriguing post.

Andy Sewina said...

Love the line 'midnight blue resonates' I'm a midnight person too!

<3

Anonymous said...

Your gap remains unknown to me but I enjoyed your poem that had people thinking of butterflies, dreams, blooms, etc...

Thank you for sharing your link with me.

Meryl Jaffe said...

Cool poem - provides some structure and guidance, but it is up to us to figure out what it is.

Thanks!

Meryl
http://departingthetext.blogspot.com

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Like others, I'm seeing beauty and delicacy here, G. This is lovely, precise, and small. I just want to watch it alight on my hand, afraid to breathe lest it leave.

Steve Isaak said...

Excellent.

Vinay Leo R. said...

calm imagery here, in your wings..! :) liked it.