closed tight, your eyes push me away-
tears cascade down your cheeks.
you are so distant from me-
why don't you consider my feelings?
your well being is foremost for me.
apology is not in order,
don't let me force the issue.
just open up and let me in-
lubricating the dryness
attained by too much misuse.
come on now, don't be coy-
as per doctor's prescription's
squeeze me in. hurting is not my forte-
as eye-drops go, I am pretty mild-
still, tears cascade down your cheeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't like this at all. I somehow lost interest halfway through. Maybe this is a signal for me to stop blogging.
45 comments:
My eye, Gautami...!:) How come I forgot all about it!?:) Green pastures, flowing water and, first and foremost, beautiful womenen - a sight for sore eyes!:)
Very sweet seriousplayful poem. Very cool.
Hi Gayathri...HUGS back :)
Thanks for the encouraging words.
Sorry for not commenting often, i read all the poems and posts, just that cant find the words to say...I'm blur to truly nice blogs. :P
And I still have your tag to do.
Hugs back.
oh dont worry bout the name...this is the Nth time ive been calling you Gayathri...remember? Been woozy this whole month. I tink something is lost in my brain...its funny how I managed to get my work done.
You will always be Gautami in my heart...jsut that my fingers and eyes are prone to optical dillusions.
sorry.
hugs again.
Ghost, I can forgive you misspelling my name but thinking me as Gayathri? No way!
I take back my hugs!
but I dont have any other Gayathri...swear to God I dont have :(
its just the G thing...
Honest.
If you lost interest, I certainly can't tell! I liked it.
I appreciated the playfulness of the double entendre.
Poor ghosty.
One more slip-up and you'll get a detention!
You can come and visit me in Gautami's doghouse. I've been sitting in the corner staring at the blackboard for weeks now...
I would love some company..
but bring your own dunce cap.
Can eyedrops have feelings?
Susan, you should read Pat Paulk's poetry where inanimate objects come alive. Each of those objects seem to have feelings. Just think if eyesdrops could speak, thats what they would say.
LOL
This made me laugh, Gautami. So serious, so heartbreaking then bam! It's just eye drops. Nicely done.
Don! U too? :( ....hmmm...do you have a spare blankey?
stop blogging! r u nuts Gautami! No way, im not letting you!
I'm sorry about my first comment, Gautami... The poetry reader in me seems to be dead, blind or illiterate... Too much involvement with three-line haiku format must have dulled my mind! Add self-centeredness plus ruthlessness brought about by who knows what, and you have it – a stupid blunder…:(
A good poem.
your first take on double entendre in as much as i have seen in the last couple of months...even your skew-whiff poem is so not skewed (if you know what i mean!) simply kinky or should i say winky! :)
and seize yourself out of that signal-not-to-blog insanity! you better!
Meera, my poems do not have double entendres. Twisted ends yes, double entendres, no. However, this one is an exception.
sometimes it is just the piece... i have so many that begin so proud and then languish into nothing half way thru... you are a talented,, crafted poet,, and i believe you could bot stop writing... even if you chose to not publish them .. but we so enjoy reading them.. you wouldn't punish us all would you????
To the contrary, Gautami, it is great!! I can relate to it too much.
Now I know what my tiny bottle of eye drops is saying to me as... Many times I get behind on reading and comment because I have abused my dry eyes so much...
I don't think it's a sign that you should stop blogging. It's just maybe a sign that you should pull away from the piece you are writing until you get that interest back. Move on and write something else when you've lost interest in the one you're working on.
Cool post - love the layering and vivid imagery. Don't stop now!
Oh don't stop blogging Gautami!! You and I were thinking along the same lines with these prompts -- and I was feeling much the same as you are today. I knew what I wanted to say but it wasn't coming out the way I wanted. It's bitterly cold here today and I think every part of me is just a little frozen!!
And...we can't always be brilliant!! :) Well, we can but sometimes we don't see our brilliance. I think some days we are really on top of our game and other days there is a bit of a stumbling block. Maybe that's what you did -- just tripped a little over your stumbling block.
Personally...I liked this!
gautami, I went through a phase when I had to cut back from so many prompts. I know how you feel.
But look at the response your poem has created! The double entendre is very clever and risque. I know you'll never stop writing, but please, keep blogging too!
This is a riot! I love peresonification!
Even though this may not be your best - don't stop blogging, for heaven's sakes! :D
Lost interest?
Well, I didn't realise it.
So don't stop blogging.
You can find my 3 words ::here::.
Have a great day!
gautami,
A writer writes, a blogger blogs. Sometimes they cooperate and come together.
You have talent...keep writing.
If I quit for every crummy piece I been dissatisfied with I wouldn't write my name anymore.
rel
Never stop blogging. You are one of my favorite stops every week.
http://myrtlebeachramblings.blogspot.com/2008/02/three-word-wednesday-distant-appology.html
You're too hard on yourself. I think it was just fine. If you don't try, you will never succeed.
it's not bad. I'm sure you probably need a break or two.
Yeah, you really need to stop blogging.
(At least my work would look a bit better.)
It's not bad.
Attack it sometime in the future.
u write pretty good even when u claim u've lost interest!
Keshi.
It's great. Very creative & refreshing (in a wet kind of way.)
soo....how long is detention....?
That took me in Gautami!! Good stuff.
I wrote something yesterday and then thought it was unworthy of posting - perhaps it was just a bad day. Don't stop blogging PLEASE!
heh..heh..that was wily...and it turned out be an eye-drop-?
spoilsport...:D
and don't stop, pls...
don't stop gautami
(now that's something i never expected to hear myself saying) :)
i enjoyed this piece
all i can say is that i am often dissatisfied with what i write
so i move on to the next and the next
to put it slightly more euphemistically than bukowski - writing is as much a purgative as it is a creative process
i think we need both
(hey - i've written too much - do you pay by the word) :)
i enjoyed this read, gautami.
please don't stop blogging.
very creative...i enjoyed your comments too, abt losing interest but kept going... hmm, stop blogging, nah...
Cute. Playful. Fun. I very much enjoyed.
this was goood...how come you say you lost it in between....? I sure dont see it
You can't leave now, I just joined last week and I am so enjoying your work. The double entendre - was clever and witty - emotional and playful at the same time! i hope I get a chance to read more of your work in the future ;-)!
What????? Stop NOW? Are you kidding! Love your stuff...you are NOT allowed to quit!
I love this one...like last week you start out thinking one thing and end up with a totally different ending!
Love the suspense!
Oh this was so clever...I didn't see the ending coming at all- brilliant! Please don't stop blogging...you are such a great read and I really enjoy visiting!
This was fun reading....had never imagined even a poor lil eye drop could be a poet's muse..heheh cute
this is a powerful piece, gutami. much more in it than it may seem.
i would miss your presence if you quit.
It's good to be light and playful sometimes.
I've felt those thoughts about no longer blogging, especially recently. But honestly, I hope I would never stop writing. And I hope you don't, either.
Sometimes a short break helps.
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