"I want to get over the border tonight"for once his words made no sense
mine turned to stupfied silence
what exactly was he conveying to me
was he wishing to be set free of me?
then I thought why read too much in it
I might as well say my two penny bit
"ok go, get over that border tonight
but first come have a sumptuous bite"
"don't worry, I will not let anything distill"
hearing that I felt an unknown thrill
all of a sudden I fully comprehended
leaning closer to him, I took his hand.
"I too want to get over the border tonight"
15 comments:
There's something deeply mysterious about this one. Marvellous.
Yes, it is mysterious. Well done!
Hi Gautami, I wonder what border you want to get over?
Line 12
leaning closer to my intended. (perhaps?)
I like this poem and I like the rhyme scheme.
I like how you play with the meaning of border in this. The rhyming scheme enhances the meaning very effectively.
Ooh... I very much like this Guatami and the subtle play on the words 'over the border'. Lovely!
Ooh, that "sumptuous bite"! A little double meaning here? Love it!
Mysterious for sure leaving all kinds of questions the reader can ask themselves
Hi, Gautami! I'm familiar with some of your blogging/reviewing and many of your comments from other "booky" sites, but this is the first time I've really read your poetry. Very interesting stuff. Thank you!
But?
Do you really?
very playful and mysterious!
I think I know what this means - but I could be wrong :)
You do a great job with rhyme and meter
i like this.
playful. nice.
I think I'm taking this either WAY too literally or else way too ... uhh, romantically. Either way, I doubt it's what you intended!
Hrm. I want to pry this open a little but I'm afraid I'll destroy it. Intriguing.
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