Tuesday, April 21, 2009

rites of passage in a sandwich

with meticulous care he squeezes the tube,
watching the shaving cream touch the bristles.
reverently he rubs it on his face,
almost with an orgasmic passion.
shaving for the first time,
he is rendering tribute to his coming of age.

The American Sandwich created by Andy Sewina
Write a piece of flash fiction in just three American Sentences. Allen Ginsberg's American Sentence has seventeen syllables. Your task is to use as few words as possible to fill the sandwich.


in front of the mirror,
he sees himself unfolding
flashes of his future unfolds-
mirrored within him

And go join the NaisaiKu Challenge...


Linda Jacobs said...

I'm really liking American Sandwiches and will have to try one soon. Yours is perfect for the subject! You always create such vivid pictures with your images!

I wrote about the same subject today.

SweetTalkingGuy.. said...

Thanks Gautami, you are a star!
Thanks Gautami, you are a star!

Anonymous said...

I have yet to try an American sandwich. Loved the Naisaiku.

Cyn Huddleston said...

I have never heard of this. I am going to try it as soon as I get a breath after exams.

Claire said...

Love the tautness of your second poem ~ succint!

zoya gautam said...

'Love the tautness of your second poem ~ succint!'-
thanks for sharing this ..

Wayne Pitchko said...

hmm hmm sooo good

Anonymous said...

You are amazing lady !! such ideas !! super :)

anthonynorth said...

The Naisaiku was deep.

polona said...

great times two!

ladygarfield said...

I enjoyed reading both, the sandwich and the naisaiku. the naisaiku was thought-provoking.