sweat trickles down on my back
shades too hurts my eyes
from that french window
afternoon sun stares at me
glaring at it I stare back
and look down blindingly
bending I scratch at my itchy foot
falling sloppily on my side
my side table topples over
spilling varied things on the floor
I right myself, getting up awkwardly
my left sole crushes the flowers
which you had plucked in spring
for me, for us, to celebrate us
as bright as those daffodils
open and welcoming,
pervading into our senses
but now dried and dead
'if only I had that knack
to glare proudly like the sun
and force down your stare'
27 comments:
This evoked some powerful emotions...you used some wonderfully vivid imagery!
Oh now that one I liked. Great imagery.
I agree with Fledgling and Witch...great use of imagery throughout the poem. I love the third stanza.
Nicely done, Gautami
This does bring up some powerful, raw emotion. Nicely done.
powerful imagery here - !
Hi Gautami, nice little story in there!
Very nicely done. You do have that strength!
Strong and vivid. Great imagery.
Powerful. Last para is simply brilliant.
Indeed summer seem to have visited your city already :)
different thought..
you always bring the picture right in front of my eyes..
You managed to transport me to a heat and headiness I cannot feel in our cool weather.
Very emotional.
Nice imagery!!
Almost a scene..
Wow, very impressive, gosh I could see that poem, wow
"If only . . .'
Well done!
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I love the phrase, "...to glare proudly like the sun."
Definitely richly imaged.
I really like the way you layer one image on top of another here. I could see it all, which really helped me feel it!
lovely...
loved especially this :
'if only I had that knack
to glare proudly like the sun
and force down your stare'
I really enjoyed this one, Gautami. It made me hungry to know the rest of the story.
powerful last verse!
hello g, another emotion packed story that wanders through your life in minut details..just as another day but yet speaks loudly of love or is it the lack thereof... always enjoy coming by and reading yr poetry.. it is as if you just speak and write w/o holding back... something i need to do more of.. freedom of expression...
I like that there's a story here but it's open to interpretation. No tidy endings, and that makes it cool.
I love your gift of being able to put the reader right there in the moment!
Very sad but beautifully written!
yes I remember that kind of heat!
Fantastic imagery throughout Guatami.
Love that last verse.
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