I've been waiting for you,
days trample on each other like magazines
filled with deep buzzing where words merge into images
perceptions recide in the jumble of blue memory
yet nothing comes to assert your arrival
I have not learned to notice your presence
stressed of a long day I seek you-
you who I must give back some day
to someone I don't know who
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Interestingly, the prompt for this weeks' Sunday Scribblings is poetry. This was cake walk for me. Need I say more?
46 comments:
"you who I must give back some day
to someone I don't know who"
haunting, intriguing....a thought?...a poem?...a memory?...a story?
you captivated me with this poem
I truly enjoyed reading this poem with its strong ending. Have a great weekend.
oh this is so beautiful Gautami...
really loved reading it!
This is beautiful and it's sad. The last lines are a moving statement
I loved reading it.
love the metaphor, you've a way with words! Well done!
"you who I must give back some day
to someone I don't know who"
brings back somethin to me :)
My Sunday Poetry
"you who I must give back some day
to someone I don't know who"
Beautiful lines. Very deep.
Perfectly done, with a hint of both sorrow and mystery.
very nice - especially that title/second line. thanks
probably one of my favourites of yours, it's briliant
filled with deep buzzing where words merge into images...perceptions recide in the jumble of blue memory
This was gorgeous...so visual and rich! Lovely, as always.
As usual. Brilliant
I'm with everyone else here. Fantastic.
You always make me wonder if I am looking inside you life or another's...it all looks and feel so real!
b
http://torristravels.blogspot.com/2009/08/sunday-scribblingsthe-lyrics-of-her.html
Full of mystery and haunting emotions - love those last lines.
Conjures up all sorts of images.
Another human connection that hits and misses - you describe these emotions so well.
Nice ending, Gautami
Grizz captured my thoughts on this and I loved "blue memories."
Lovely flow of words..amazed at the way you handle words dear.
Loved the title line ... interesting though that you changed days to weeks.
mmm.... love wondering why.
peace,
JP/deb
I really like this!!
Hey G.T, been there, done that. Mrs. Jim came into the room the other day and I missed her entrance entirely.
Those magazines stack up fast, don't they. Newspapers too!
..
Such ache in the last three lines!
The last three lines summed this up beautifully, and pulled at my heart string.
Beautiful feeling! Waiting for an invisible memory! A little like waiting for the legendary blue moon! Fascinating!
I too enjoyed this and the very strong ending. The temporary yet deep emotions tug on my heart.
I love the second line - I got an immediate image and it drove the poem forward.
A very beautiful poem. It's very powerful, especially the last lines.
Beautiful poem - I love the last lines.
Have a great week!
Anna
For some reason this poem made me think of a time when it was so hard for me to wait to get photos developed.
I enjoyed the visuals you displayed in this poem.
.. reminded of sahir ludhanvi's couplet( poet emeritus urdu, --coarsely translated as under ) _
" what realizations and disasters the world gives to me
it is that which i return back in my poetry "
ur sensitive writing is good to read .. thanks for sharing it..
poet emeritus ?
shouldn't that be poet laureate ! ..
as always your depictions are so vivid !
i like how you brought the title into the piece...
Proof of your creativity and gift: that it was a "cake walk" for you.
are you describing rest? a soul? a memory? great stuff!
coming late to the poetry party, I'm left like everyone else, with questions. That for me is a beautiful thing here - everyone has their own questions and walks away thinking. Whether poetry or any other use of words, that is a gift in and of itself.
The line "I have not learned to notice your presence" really struck me..
I will be conscious of this in all my relationships:)
Thanks for the reminder.
weeks and day, hours and minutes, pile one on top of the next. Great piece!
Spirithelpers
Beautiful! Intriguing, yet, comes with a rather "knowing" feeling.. You have such a splendid way with words..
Gautami, this is beautiful. I especially like this line, "filled with deep buzzing where words merge into images".
Indeed - cake walk! Your poetry collection is just awesome!!!
Nice images - particularly fond of magazines trampling on each other and the giving back ... -
Hi~ I loved the line "days trample on each other like magazines" Your poem was haunting and mysterious. Have a wonderful school year!
the end lines are so intriguing
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