Monday, June 09, 2008

rot

..................and
I feel oppressive pressure

of your unblinking stare
your foul breath is enough
to make me cringe
still i am unable to look aside
as your eyes pull me into
a vortex of what I know not
I wish deeply for your
aging wrinkled body to
distintegrate to nothing
right in front of my eyes
I can't take the rot that
is your blackened soul

I watch you
wishing you dead with all my heart

32 comments:

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I think the most disturbing part of this poem is how well I relate to it...

Jannie Sue "Funster" said...

Something tells me you are not that person's #1 fan.

Spooky-good.

Jannie

Ric said...

I'm already up late...and now I will have trouble getting to sleep! Very disturbing...and I mean that in the best possible sense!

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

wow! this one is SO powerful - I'd love to know the story behind this, if there is one.

artpredator said...

i like the 1st stanza a lot, esp the last 2 lines:
I can't take the rot that
is your blackened soul

...!

Nathan said...

This is really intense. I like the way you separate the last two lines and turn the "oppressive pressure" around. You can feel the speaker's smoldering gaze.

Whitesnake said...

YOU talking ta me?

What did I do ta upset ya?

anthonynorth said...

Powerful words. I guess we all think like that about someone, sometime.

Joy Renee said...

i couldn't help but visualize a certain figure famous for being unable to tell a friend from a pheasant...

so much for the high-minded sentiments of my haiku this week. sigh.

Julia Smith said...

It's funny how these sorts of people find themselves alone towards the ends of their journeys. Except for the one person like the narrator who wishes they would rot. Can't say I'd find that an appealing way to leave this earth - wished into a grave.

Great poem, Gautami.

durablepigments said...

So much powerful emotion here! As others have said above, yes: very intense.

Donn said...

HA...quit mincing words and tell us how you REALLY feel!

It would be uber-cool if people actually did disintegrate when they died...like Vampyres do in sunlight.
((poof))

Jo said...

Crikey, this hits hard. Now I'm curious as to who it is.

mariacristina said...

This poem is hate come to life. I imagine the most sinister of beings as the object of the narrators contemplation. A convincing poem, gautami.

Jill said...

Those first lines are really powerfull! Each week, I'm impress how you can put such power into your poems!

Jennifer said...

This feels like a wave of pent-up emotion finally being released and rushing out with such power. It's got bite.

one more believer said...

...love it!!... as your eyes pull me into a vortex of what i know not.. well spoken w/o caution.. thaz the best...

noahthegreat said...

Oh wow. This is incredibly powerful!

twitches said...

I found an interesting turn with the wrinkled body. Up until that point it could have been anyone you were hating on, but that made it more dramatic, to know it was an aging person.

Ann said...

Awesome poem. Very powerful.

Danika / OpenChannel said...

wow, that is pretty intense...

I watch you
wishing you dead with all my heart

gingatao said...

It's not often that one reads such a powerfully hateful poem. Yours is very disturbing, confronting evil.

Robin said...

I dare not consider what this person did to bring on such loathing and contempt.

Why do we all seem to have someone like that in our lives?...

Don Iannone said...

Wow! Some time ago I riddled a poem like this. I felt better afterwards. The poem was about my ego...

totomai said...

full of angst here. but you conveyed the message loudly :-)

gautami tripathy said...

don, you got that right. Our bloated egos need to die a painful death.

Nicole Nicholson said...

I could feel the blackness from all the way over here.

Very skillfully written.

-Nicole

Rob Kistner said...

Gautami -

My, how dark! A powerful read, and disturbing in its blunt emotions.

I liked this, but I have a dark side that comprehends...

Well done!

...deb said...

You're crystal clear.

polona said...

gosh, a lot of powerful emotion in here! great stuff...

bap said...

It is absolutely insane how I can relate to every word.

Tina Trivett said...

Very dark and powerful...well done.