..................and
I feel oppressive pressure
of your unblinking stare
your foul breath is enough
to make me cringe
still i am unable to look aside
as your eyes pull me into
a vortex of what I know not
I wish deeply for your
aging wrinkled body to
distintegrate to nothing
right in front of my eyes
I can't take the rot that
is your blackened soul
I watch you
wishing you dead with all my heart
31 comments:
I think the most disturbing part of this poem is how well I relate to it...
Something tells me you are not that person's #1 fan.
Spooky-good.
Jannie
I'm already up late...and now I will have trouble getting to sleep! Very disturbing...and I mean that in the best possible sense!
wow! this one is SO powerful - I'd love to know the story behind this, if there is one.
i like the 1st stanza a lot, esp the last 2 lines:
I can't take the rot that
is your blackened soul
...!
This is really intense. I like the way you separate the last two lines and turn the "oppressive pressure" around. You can feel the speaker's smoldering gaze.
YOU talking ta me?
What did I do ta upset ya?
Powerful words. I guess we all think like that about someone, sometime.
i couldn't help but visualize a certain figure famous for being unable to tell a friend from a pheasant...
so much for the high-minded sentiments of my haiku this week. sigh.
It's funny how these sorts of people find themselves alone towards the ends of their journeys. Except for the one person like the narrator who wishes they would rot. Can't say I'd find that an appealing way to leave this earth - wished into a grave.
Great poem, Gautami.
So much powerful emotion here! As others have said above, yes: very intense.
Crikey, this hits hard. Now I'm curious as to who it is.
This poem is hate come to life. I imagine the most sinister of beings as the object of the narrators contemplation. A convincing poem, gautami.
Those first lines are really powerfull! Each week, I'm impress how you can put such power into your poems!
This feels like a wave of pent-up emotion finally being released and rushing out with such power. It's got bite.
...love it!!... as your eyes pull me into a vortex of what i know not.. well spoken w/o caution.. thaz the best...
Oh wow. This is incredibly powerful!
I found an interesting turn with the wrinkled body. Up until that point it could have been anyone you were hating on, but that made it more dramatic, to know it was an aging person.
Awesome poem. Very powerful.
wow, that is pretty intense...
I watch you
wishing you dead with all my heart
It's not often that one reads such a powerfully hateful poem. Yours is very disturbing, confronting evil.
I dare not consider what this person did to bring on such loathing and contempt.
Why do we all seem to have someone like that in our lives?...
Wow! Some time ago I riddled a poem like this. I felt better afterwards. The poem was about my ego...
full of angst here. but you conveyed the message loudly :-)
don, you got that right. Our bloated egos need to die a painful death.
I could feel the blackness from all the way over here.
Very skillfully written.
-Nicole
Gautami -
My, how dark! A powerful read, and disturbing in its blunt emotions.
I liked this, but I have a dark side that comprehends...
Well done!
You're crystal clear.
gosh, a lot of powerful emotion in here! great stuff...
It is absolutely insane how I can relate to every word.
Very dark and powerful...well done.
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