Wednesday, June 03, 2009

strings cross with wires

strings cross with wires
all goes black
and then white
luminous yellow acts as a filler
a magnet pulls all in
containing all in a minute space
unwanted unexpected something
bubbles out to the surface
making it look like a cake
of non-descriptive colour
again wires cross with strings

"I desire to walk out of the desert intact"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here I wrote whatever formed in my mind after each sentence. When I wrote it, it made a lot of sense to me. Sometimes, we have to give in to what our mind desires.


35 comments:

Janice Thomson said...

I think I had a dream like this one :) Great imagery Guatami.

lissa said...

I think when we put words on paper or type into a computer, they don't always become our own and sometimes runs away from us... enjoyable read though

Destinee said...

wow! crazy good imagery. love how it ends where it began. good job!

Tumblewords: said...

Nice work! It sings with the unusual!

RBroeker said...

Associativity. It forces the reader to think about and prevents from consuming. Most authors swing between this way and conceptional writing, some decide to go one way. Am interested in your decision.

Best wishes
Ralf

anthonynorth said...

This is so surreal, but enjoyable.

sarah said...

I love the way you wrote this. And I love the way it reads.

Lorraine said...

I think you're very impressive, for some reason, made me think of my favourite song, MacArthur's Park
PS as I write on my word blogs, I've realised that I've begun to enjoy people responding with poetry, I have you to thank for shredding another layer of ego :)
Thanks Rooted lol now feel free to respond in anyway you want, lol

Michelle Johnson said...

Yes, sometimes our words have a mind of their own but, that's what makes for some interesting reads, like yours. Have a great day.

sage said...

someone else has already said it: surreal. You have sure a creative side to you that has a wonderful variety to it.

Annamari said...

It is like a surrealist picture, somebody shall make a painting after it...

Whitesnake said...

The mind is a powerful tool

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

absolutely true. that's all I do. it made sense to me. :)

Nathan said...

I definitely support experimentation! It's fascinating the way each line advances.

angie said...

I really like this; there is beauty in science.

James said...

I like the images here. You're right about just following the flow of the words and your thoughts. The results are often interesting, usually surprising. I like the combination of the tangible (magnet, wires) and intangible (yellow, space) here.

spacedlaw said...

Weaving dreams?

SandyCarlson said...

The dream, the light, the draw, the direction....well done, friend.

Jim said...

This is a nice round and rounded little poem. First the strings do the crossing and finally the wires come back to do the crossing to end it.
I was ready for a blackout but then it worked 'your way' instead.
..
Thanks for your kind comment and suggestion as well.
I can't do that ("his vocabulary is small") although I was and still am struggling with the third verse.
My syllabic form is 7,7,7, so I can't change your way. I have tried others but so far it is like it is.
Thank you again,
..

Beth P. said...

Well...it does make sense as a dream-sequence. And your last line 'I desire to walk out of the desert intact' helps me imagine that this is part of a larger dream, as our lives are always part of a larger dream.

Thanks, Gautami.

Tammie Lee said...

I was wondering what tale you were telling. Still in the reading I liked the feel of it. Fun freedom you gave yourself. I gave myself a tiny bit of the same freedom with my OSI, then kicked back and tried to interpret it as though it were a meaningful dream.

Maggie said...

Very interesting poem...I enjoyed it.

JP/deb said...

The intersection of emotion and words ... line by line. Peace, JP/deb

Soulmate Intersection

Pam said...

I kind of enjoyed the broken and choppiness of this poem. You did well with your inspiration.

floreta said...

i enjoyed the visuals that this poem had. i think this is what occurs with vibration of sound.

Lynne said...

I agree with Janice. Reminds me of a dream. (I dream in colour. :). Like the imagery and that this is different, but uniquely yours.

DeLi said...

like a pathway,an intriguing pathway

Sue said...

This has a lovely rhythym to it -- "strings cross wires" indeed!

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

Hrm. I had to read this again, and even then, it escaped me a bit - but I like the imagery.

zoya gautam said...

.."surreal" and could be psychological .. thanks for an interesting post ..

Dee Martin said...

walk out of the desert intact - we all want that don't we? Lovely and haunting.

Beloved Haiku Dreams said...

Tami, you write as if in a dream. I think it is wonderful. I love how the words sound.
I have lost my BD site to malware.
My new site is :
http://belovedhaikudreams.blogspot.com
I have miss so much and all of you. I was ill.

love,Melanie-bd

gabrielle said...

delirium, grief, a birthday, a longing to be free of mortal limits...

a poem that is a Rorschach
inspired imagery as always!

Patti said...

I like how you created this one~ interesting imagery

one more believer said...

as alway a delightful read... passing to and fro along the way... bubbles to the surface struck me strongly... tanks...