Tuesday, July 07, 2009

abstracting

random papers
a few torn haphazardly
some cut precisely to size

lay jumbled on the floor
my nimble fingers trying
to bring some kind of order

that thimble-sized man
jumped into that disorder
moonwalked all over it

eyes fixed on its movements
I watched the fireworks
with a sense of wonder

patterns fell into place
with such grace and fluidity
papered into so much beauty

when he disappeared again
into my deep thoughts
I knew it was all unreal

"reality is creativity that comes from deep trance"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lately I am trying for abstract poetry. I don't know if I am succeeding or not. Feedback is welcome.

17 comments:

Michelle Johnson said...

I think this is a nice attempt at abstract poetry. Then you've always been a really good writer. Have a great day.

sarah haliwell said...

I agree with Michelle :-)

Irene Toh said...

I find your poem visual like a hallucination.

anthonynorth said...

That last line is suburb.

Lawrence Gladeview said...

this is very whimsical in nature, a refreshing break from the ordinary. such well placed words and language makes this jump off the page and grab the reader to the cutting room floor. -lawrence

Texas2Tennessee said...

I love the unspoken futility of order, the constancy of chaos in this poem. Nicely done.

strattonm said...

I've often felt the same way...

Linda Jacobs said...

Yes, the papers and the thoughts all mixed up and the moonwalking! Love it!

Tumblewords: said...

Abstracting works well for you - this piece takes me on a wonderful journey -

Andy Sewina said...

Maybe we are who we think we are, 'til we wake up!
<3

Jeeves said...

Your abstract poetry is a wonderful read.

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

This I would compare to an acid trip in words. And I love your use of "moonwalking" - apropos considering the times.

- Nicole

Mutiny in Six Parts

Linda - Nickers and Ink said...

Timely and timeless.

(In a strange way, we will all miss him.)

Felicity said...

I love the images you've built up with this poem. :)

Erin Davis said...

I think that your abstracting attempts are working really well. This is a really compelling picture of the creative impulse/inspiration.

angie said...

wonderful! it flows so well...

Nathan said...

I like the way "moonwalk" and "movement" sound together. There's also a lot of vivid imagery here.