hearts slump against each other
lost in the seance of love
flaming sky loiters towards them
sanguine espression dissolves
ACUITY OF TOUCH
dissolved sanguinity
flames the loitering sky
love for lost seance
breaks slumped hearts
"crying against that fur is so comforting"
23 comments:
Gorgeous use of language. I am glad I stumbled upon your blog - off to read more!
You've executed this naisaiku well. I love the line love for lost seance. Hope all is well your way. Have a great day.
wow--this a beautiful. lovely sounds.
Yeah I like the way this sounds too!
Thanks for posting to The NaiSaiKu Challenge?
Reads so well!
gautami you are the first of the poems i have read today to use one of the word prompts in the title itself, well done! the format and style works great, love the transition with the title itself serving as the median. (and thanks for the help with the word verification glitch) enjoyed.
-lawrence
"hearts slump against each other" - beautiful sentiment and wonderful lead for this poem.
Absolutely gorgeous, one of your best.
Trying to rediscover lost love? It was always better the first time around...
Inspired use of the words..full of acuity
You did such a great job with these words!
ahhh, loved this. Especially SANGUINE. (I read your poem and realized I left Sanguine OUT of my poem, completely.)
Enjoyed the rhythm and pacing as well.
Thank you!
Beautiful words.
Masterfully done!
the fur cried too...seems oh so appropriate.. very interesting reading ;)
I really like that last line. Well done.
the words just roll...
Wow!!!You surprise me everytime. Lovely
there are more simpler words you could use........
great use of words....again....especially "acuity of touch".....somehow I used also
Crying against that fur is comforting...
I love those linies, nicely done
Absolutely wonderful. Once again you have shown phenomenal skill in creating breathtaking poetry.
Absolutely beautiful. I love how the words all come back on each other. Skillfully & wonderfully done.
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