random papers
a few torn haphazardly
some cut precisely to size
lay jumbled on the floor
my nimble fingers trying
to bring some kind of order
that thimble-sized man
jumped into that disorder
moonwalked all over it
eyes fixed on its movements
I watched the fireworks
with a sense of wonder
patterns fell into place
with such grace and fluidity
papered into so much beauty
when he disappeared again
into my deep thoughts
I knew it was all unreal
"reality is creativity that comes from deep trance"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lately I am trying for abstract poetry. I don't know if I am succeeding or not. Feedback is welcome.
17 comments:
I think this is a nice attempt at abstract poetry. Then you've always been a really good writer. Have a great day.
I agree with Michelle :-)
I find your poem visual like a hallucination.
That last line is suburb.
this is very whimsical in nature, a refreshing break from the ordinary. such well placed words and language makes this jump off the page and grab the reader to the cutting room floor. -lawrence
I love the unspoken futility of order, the constancy of chaos in this poem. Nicely done.
I've often felt the same way...
Yes, the papers and the thoughts all mixed up and the moonwalking! Love it!
Abstracting works well for you - this piece takes me on a wonderful journey -
Maybe we are who we think we are, 'til we wake up!
<3
Your abstract poetry is a wonderful read.
This I would compare to an acid trip in words. And I love your use of "moonwalking" - apropos considering the times.
- Nicole
Mutiny in Six Parts
Timely and timeless.
(In a strange way, we will all miss him.)
I love the images you've built up with this poem. :)
I think that your abstracting attempts are working really well. This is a really compelling picture of the creative impulse/inspiration.
wonderful! it flows so well...
I like the way "moonwalk" and "movement" sound together. There's also a lot of vivid imagery here.
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