gloom has descended on that child
transparent tears pour over his cheeks
I kneel in front of him
wiping those as best as I can
HE IS UNCONSOLED
tears flow even after I wipe
he too kneels down
his espressions so transparent
loaded heavily with gloom
nothing is sadder for a little boy
other than a broken toy
I MEND IT AS BEST AS I CAN
he breaks down again
sadness replaces unbidden joy
26 comments:
I really enjoyed this poem, especially the structure of the first stanza. You're a very talented poet. :)
--Anna
Diary of an Eccentric
I loved this one. Gloomy or not, I always look forward to your vivid imagination and wonderful way with words!
Yes, those tears can pull us along. Excellently done.
The construction of this is excellent. And the images riveting. Gloomy, yes, but with feeling. And that counts for something.
Sometimes a child can't be consoled no matter what. It just takes time for him to release all his sadness. Well written, as always. Hope all is well. Have a great day.
You do marvelous things with words.
great job!
you leave me amazed !!!! loved this :)
This was me last weekend with my granddaughter! Wow, you totally captured it perfectly!
You nailed it:) I love the visual of the inconsolable kid...
I am in a gloomy mood too :)
The mood was captured to perfection.
Excellent uses of these words ... love the twists in meaning from beginning to end of poem. Wonderful.
Peace,
JP/deb
Lovely poem..
What a lovely poem, so true to the sometimes dark spirit of childhood. You are endlessly clever.
Nicely done.
cleverly done - it IS a day in a child's life... enjoyable read!
I love the construction here. So nicely done, as always.
Brings a tear to my eyes!
Well written!
<3
i liked this...
you really have a way with words...
I love it...and I want to give him a hug!!
I mend them as best I can, too, but unfortunately I can not mend them very well. Very little is sadder than a broken toy, especially one bought with one's own money at a special place.
The scene is everyday-like. But the rhythmn is taking me with it.
Best wishes
Ralf
Your poem is alive with the simple way to please a child! If only we always remembered that simple is beautiful!
it's not as gloomy as I expected, I thought something more tragic than a broken toy, but that can mean more to a child than anything else, makes me think of a parent trying to soothe a child, something almost intimidate in a way
vivid indeed
Wow..great innocent emotions...well put...I like it
well written...
the pain of the child, was well structured in the poem...
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