Thursday, July 16, 2009

acuity of touch

hearts slump against each other
lost in the seance of love
flaming sky loiters towards them

sanguine espression dissolves

ACUITY OF TOUCH

dissolved sanguinity

flames the loitering sky

love for lost seance

breaks slumped hearts


"crying against that fur is so comforting"

23 comments:

Janet Jarrell said...

Gorgeous use of language. I am glad I stumbled upon your blog - off to read more!

Michelle Johnson said...

You've executed this naisaiku well. I love the line love for lost seance. Hope all is well your way. Have a great day.

angie said...

wow--this a beautiful. lovely sounds.

andy said...

Yeah I like the way this sounds too!

Thanks for posting to The NaiSaiKu Challenge?

Tumblewords: said...

Reads so well!

Lawrence Gladeview said...

gautami you are the first of the poems i have read today to use one of the word prompts in the title itself, well done! the format and style works great, love the transition with the title itself serving as the median. (and thanks for the help with the word verification glitch) enjoyed.
-lawrence

Dave said...

"hearts slump against each other" - beautiful sentiment and wonderful lead for this poem.

sarah haliwell said...

Absolutely gorgeous, one of your best.

Stan Ski said...

Trying to rediscover lost love? It was always better the first time around...

Irene Toh said...

Inspired use of the words..full of acuity

Erin Davis said...

You did such a great job with these words!

Julie Jordan Scott said...

ahhh, loved this. Especially SANGUINE. (I read your poem and realized I left Sanguine OUT of my poem, completely.)

Enjoyed the rhythm and pacing as well.

Thank you!

anthonynorth said...

Beautiful words.

Linda Jacobs said...

Masterfully done!

Lorraine said...

the fur cried too...seems oh so appropriate.. very interesting reading ;)

Nathan said...

I really like that last line. Well done.

Mark said...

the words just roll...

Jeeves said...

Wow!!!You surprise me everytime. Lovely

Whitesnake said...

there are more simpler words you could use........

Wayne Pitchko said...

great use of words....again....especially "acuity of touch".....somehow I used also

Lyrically speaking said...

Crying against that fur is comforting...

I love those linies, nicely done

Jane Doe said...

Absolutely wonderful. Once again you have shown phenomenal skill in creating breathtaking poetry.

Kristen said...

Absolutely beautiful. I love how the words all come back on each other. Skillfully & wonderfully done.