Wednesday, August 26, 2009

blowing over that mug of coffee



blowing over that mug of coffee,
(a habit he had picked in trucker days)
he stared at its frothy stirrings
fracture of time had made him rescue her
from what he didn't know as yet
a hindrance she was for him, his work
abandon her, he just couldn't
without exchanging a single word
he could hear the noise she heard in her head
her stillness troubled him to no end

he watched her image vanish within the coffee
even though her reality was palpable beside him

42 comments:

Jeeves said...

Stirring images.

Greyscale Territory said...

Love the element of darkness beyond the coffee froth!

anthonynorth said...

There's a lot of meaning in that cup.

Jane Doe said...

Beautiful, full of rich imagery and poignant emotions.

Andy Sewina said...

Love the bit that says 'He could hear the noise she heard in her head'.
<3

ThomG said...

The look back in longing over a cup of coffee is brilliant. I really like the visions in this. One suggestion - put "to" before no end.

Michelle Johnson said...

You made some strong human connections through that cup of coffee. Some good, honest and from the heart poetry. Have a great day.

Seher said...

i could hear the noise she heard in his head!

wow terrific :)

My 3WW

Lorraine said...

Some people can read leaves in tea, you seem to foresee things in coffee, did I mention how powerful your words are?

Americanising Desi said...

beautiful imagery and beautiful connections :)

Elegant Expressions

Missy said...

You have such a way of painting the words of the prompts I find delightful.

Besides you really pulled me in with the mention of a cup of coffee.

gautami tripathy said...

Thanks Thom G. I added!

wildplumwhisper said...

Clever! somewhat sad in a good, inspiring way.

Mark said...

That is one deep cup of coffee...

sage said...

I've always watched how people blow on their hot drinks and hold the cups... I couldn't help but wonder if this is the same trucker who picked up the girl in an earlier poem of yours. Is he?

Tumblewords: said...

Lots of thought in that cup. And he may never know...

Just someone said...

he stared at its frothy stirrings - that is a nice line!

Linda Jacobs said...

I like how this is told from the truck driver's point of view! And the image in the coffee cup is great!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I love the idea of blowing over a cup of coffee. Can I steal it?

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

Nice. I've had many a ponder over coffee, myself.

aspiemom said...

We think about a lot of things over a cup of coffee or tea.

Well done.

Paul Oakley said...

Nice image of ambivalence in a cup of coffee!

Sandra Leigh said...

I'm new to your work, and I look forward to reading more. This ex-trucker is a recurring character, then? Very absorbing poem.

Cynthia Short said...

Everything you do is just so good it amazes me! I especially liked the line "her stillness troubled him to no end". I can sense another poem just through that one line...

Derrick said...

Hi Gautami,

"he watched her image vanish within the coffee
even though her reality was palpable beside him"

Great words those!

Tamra said...

oh the things that go through our minds during that first cup!

lissa said...

sounds mysterious, like a fantasy or a fleeting thought

Francis Scudellari said...

I like the way you capture a very simple scene that's filled with such emotion. Great images.

Tammy said...

Emotionally captivating!

davidmoolten said...

I like how the poem's tone and size fit its subject, fleeting and meditative.

joannejohns said...

A beautiful snapshot of a small moment which stretches out in both directions. Well done.

thelittlewriterthatcould said...

Loved this! I almost felt like I was in that shop, drinking that coffee! Well done!

RBroeker said...

No happy end at the truck stop. But a piece of writing which could be the beginning of a novel.

Best wishes
Ralf

Linda said...

This poem is so real. It's how my brain works when I am surmising a situation.... I like the way you expressed the concern and the worry. I also like the way you talked about whether it was worth the aggrevation. A concise, accurate reflection of life. Thanks for sharing and visiting me.=D

Stan Ski said...

Wonderful imagery.

Leo said...

u paint quite a picture with ur images! :)

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

A simple scene, a short piece that reveals so much. I also like the image disappearing in the coffee. Well done.

EKSwitaj said...

The last two lines draw everything together powerfully. They weren't what I expected but after reading them I couldn't imagine the poem ending any other way.

robotcupcake said...

Lol, you could make it a laundry poem to match the prompt if he's folding her laundry while he thinks this..

Nathan said...

Well done. I really like the final couplet.

Janice Thomson said...

Great imagery full of strong emotions. Excellent writing with a superb ending Guatami.

maglomaniac said...

Good one gautami.
My fav lines being:
"abandon her, he just couldn't"
Something so must, but so impossible.

Be my enemy

Ram's Reality:Is this what we need to answer

~Harsha