Saturday, November 07, 2009

a winter poem

when the warmth of the sun
disappears behind the cold winter
trees bend like old men
coughing into the ground

the icy ground receives their sobs
geeky nighmares speak in Greek
blackening branches interview each other
for dignified white death

'wood of the trees ends up as coffins for old men"

35 comments:

sage said...

I'm not sure what to do with that last line, but I chuckled as I read it... the leaves are now gone and the sky looks different without a canopy

Diane said...

Your poem gave me "winter chills"....very nice.

SandyCarlson said...

The image of all life coming full circle is powerful here.

Shraddha@theselfloveproject said...

wonderful winter poem..

i can so so relate..

anthonynorth said...

What an excellent last line.

Amity Me said...

departing yet for good and use in their next state of life...:)

good one Gautami!

Leo said...

the two prompts were well joined! a good image u create!

Loch Rob said...

Well done, with images of life.

Sweetest in the Gale said...

Bleak and dark...what a perfect visual of what winter brings to the trees. Loved this!

Sue said...

What a compelling image! "trees bend like old men/coughing into the ground."

Jeeves said...

Winter chills. Wow, so well said

Beth P. said...

just so glad it's a dignified death...

thanks, gautami!!

if said...

nice images and metaphors...!!

Granny Smith said...

Your whole poem is a wonderful metaphor for the cycle of life and of its bitter ending - but with hope.

GoGo said...

Ha.I have always appreciated your words. Nice use of the prompt. :)

~gg

floreta said...

a cold one!

ChefDruck said...

Illustrates the circle of life in a very visual and powerful way.

Gordon Mason said...

Like the image "trees bend like old men coughing into the ground"

fourwindshaiga said...

Why do I get the feeling that you don't care for winter?

So powerfully written poem, Guatami.

Tumblewords: said...

Full circle - the imagery is superb!

Gel said...

Great lines "trees bend like old men/coughing into the ground"

Interesting personification choice for "interview"

Amity Me said...

i have to go back here coz i clicked on your name at SS and i found out this was also linked at OSI..:)

good one!

littlekhargosh said...

grow old and die together... men and nature. thanks for sharing.

Donn met twee n's said...

Don't remind me of what is coming!
I hate Winter! Not, do-not-prefer or dislike, HATE!

Except for the culling of microbial contaminants Winter, especially our long drawn-out affair, is bloody awful.

Whitened, withering, old men are that are gnarled as old trees is a great metaphor. Were it not for the exhorbitant amount of sunshine that we receive, for a paltry 8 hours a day, I would gladly choose to hide in a Pine Box for 5 months of the year...like a Vampyre.

swapnap said...

Images of winter,trees,old men, sobs....all painted nicely here.

MichaelO said...

That last line was the "final nail"... Loved it!

Jukota said...

I like the turn-arounds in this poem, how it came back on itself.

oldegg said...

I love the way trees do talk themselves and each other. You have captured something quite eternal in this poem.

Patti said...

great images in that poem! Perfect for the departure of one season into the next.

SandyCarlson said...

Friend,
Your prompt reincarnation comes up Sunday at OSI! Please let me know if you have a poem and/or image to post.

Bill said...

midwinter
the sidewalk crowded
with old men

jone said...

Exactly what is happening to the trees here in the Pacific NW. What chilling images.

Julia Smith said...

So many great lines:

'trees bend like old men
coughing into the ground'

'the icy ground receives their sobs'

'blackening branches interview each other'

Really original, really fresh.

Felicity said...

Brilliant imagery. :)

Sepiru Chris said...

10 days late in commenting, but hey. Who's counting...

I love this, particularly the first verse.

Woo hoo. I could paint this on the wall. Only the landlord would object.

Thanks