the cut in my gold bangle
reflects the sunlight
while I watch the dust motes
admiring their movements
the games they play
randomly settling
I wish to dislodge
that indescribable something
within my heart
displacing it with yours
those flying dust motes
make it easier for me to decide
"without losing any moment
I let myself migrate into you
and feel your life force in me"
38 comments:
I would like to believe my life forces help your write this beautiful poetry but somehow I think you do it all by yourself.
I love the visual image that helps me to understand the poem emotionally...very well done.
b
http://torristravels.blogspot.com/2009/11/some-things-never-change.html
Liked the way the cuts in your gold bangle took you in a moment to feel the life force...nicely written Gautami.
beautiful... :)
An excellent journey into the writers' mind.
I enjoyed the inspiration you received to write this great poem.
Moments like you have described so beautifully are those that etch themselves into our memory.
Crafty, poetic, smart...better you than me hun ;)
That is beautiful, tender, and uplifting. You made my morning.
Wonderful! Your words were sharp and crystal clear, just like the sunlight against the gold bangle.
To make this strong connection with another is always a desire. I like the way you interplay with the dust mote and these images. I like this one.
Oh I loved how you ended this, a poem within itself ...
"without losing any moment
I let myself migrate into you
and feel your life force in me"
Beautiful!
ooh how romantic!!
i loved it!!
Tami, ditto on the "how romantic!!"
Now I will be looking for dust motes at play. I think my flashlight will work as did your bangle reflector.
..
dust motes playing games...I love it. Your visuals are so strong and powerful!
Wonderful use of the prompt word - the poem is tender and powerful, too!
You have poetic talent, for sure. Thanks for sharing your writing with the world.
Lovely post, Gautami.
Like a jay, the golden bangle caught my mind's eye.
I love this idea.
Like a jay, the golden bangle caught my mind's eye.
I love this idea.
it is hard to separate oneself from another... and that a scratch in a bangle could so exquisitely bring it pass is lovely...
I keep meaning to ask you - do you have a book out? Are you writing one? If not, you should be!
Sassy Brit :))
Alternative-Read.com
*Giveaways*
Love the strong images in this poem. I could see the golden light and the dust motes dancing.
this made me catch my breath. I love it.
this is an interesting and unique piece. you make me want to get to know dust motes better. and I love that you don't loose a moment...
so sensual and romantic. "That indescribable something" made my heart heat up... like scooping some of itself out and offering it up, thinking...
"this someone gets it..."
My first post was linkless. SO sorry to be posting again, but I couldn't figure out how to edit my first one. :-(
Sorry.
I really like the meditative quality to this, how it examines the tiniest almost atomic trifles (dust motes) so calmly then turns with the same patience to integration with the "you."
I was floating in the particles of dust, taking in all the refreshing rays of light from your mind. Thank you!
Hi Gautami,
Very simple words, gently expressed and full of meaning.
simply....a great journey.....thanks for sharing this Gautami
A beautiful Advent poem, Gautami, from whichever angle you come at it. Very nice!
I like the repeating image of the dust motes and the way they randomly settle.
Your expression and imagery are so honestly stated. I love that you included the sunshine and movements of dust. Thank you for adding delight to my day, Gautami.
As usual, you have such a way with poetry about relationships and love. Beautifully rendered.
Dust motes and pomegranate seeds as binding memories, quite original and interesting.
the cut in my bangle
reflecting the light
How effortlessly you dislodge emotional weight.
I am hypnotized by your flying dust motes. Wonderful.
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