a sheet of paper drifts away
the child's scrawl on the refrigerator door
with the sounds of laughter
mingles into the buzzing of the kitchen gadgets
I stare above the microwave
day-dreaming of harmonious
spaces invaded by the scent of food
I look beyond the obvious
towards that broken chair in the corner
emptiness speaks of untold secrets
in that darkened spot behind the kitchen door
"what does that dried blood suggest to me?"
25 comments:
Gautami, you've got my attention! :)
Now my mind is racing through possibility after possibility of what the blood spot behind the kitchen door signifies...
On the way there, I love the details of the scrawl on the refrigerator door, noises of kitchen gadgets, broken chair...
You packed a lot in.
An incredible cliffhanger of an ending there.
Wonderful sketch of the kitchen and internal scene.
Hi Gautami,
This certainly builds the tension. It could be blood from a lamb chop or .......!
Aha! A "who-done-it"! Very tense, clever and leaves you with many questions..I believe it was the wife you got fed-up with her evil husband and hit him with a hatchet while he sat in the chair (which broke when he fell). She has cleaned up all other bits of the deed except found one last spot of blood behind the door...will she get away with it?
I really enjoyed it!
I love a mystery - well done! I enjoyed it.
Well, undisciplined children who are allowed to scrawl on the fridge
door always end up killing the family pet!
ohhhh... drifting paper... that alone speaks to the poet in me.
Love love love this, and love how the viewer-narrator-poet injects himself directly in the scene... and isn't that what we do when we watch?
Thank you!
oh, the memories we retreive in the small unsignificant signs for the others : a child's scrawl, a spot beyond a door... well done.
Very haunting. I like how it starts off so comfortable and familiar, and then slowly takes a dark turn.
Beginning in the hub of the home, the heart of the house, where love lives and then quickly becoming wrong and out of place in a "No, not here" sort of way, your poem goes that distance. Very nicely done. I envy how compact and simply you arrive at your destination. Thank you for your post, Gautami.
Wow! That last line. I am left wondering.
I love the way this begins so commonly and innocently and how the paper, floating free takes us like some kind of magic creature or talisman in a folk tale or legend to the terrible curse or secret, which the narrator and the audience know and can't speak or are just discovering.
I think you've drawn out the CSI in all of us. Should we look to where you point "beyond the obvious" or does that only distract us from the day-dream.
A lot of sense imagery in a small space. And wicked of you.
I like the details of the child's drawing and the upturned chair...
wow, Gautami! I love this, especially "day-dreaming of harmonious spaces/invaded by the scent of food"...wonderful!
Very nice one. Like the images shifting
great job of moving from the mundane to the mysterious... what will happen next?
Oh very good! I really like the way that ends, leaving you wondering!
Very mysterious.. liked your writing.. :))
Take care
from Therese L. Broderick -- For me, the poem presents the child's scrawls as a picture, a drawing. It falls away, but you the poet give us another drawing -- the scene in the kitchen. Then, the last line is like the question a psychologist would ask about a Rorschat (spelling?) drawing: what does the picture of a red scrawl (dried blood) look like to you? And we, the readers, are the people who must look at the poem/drawing and answer what it looks like to us.
Kind of ominous... I love it! :)
"spaces invaded" - I do remember that time. Life was was so Atari ...
Best wishes
Ralf
as if it is just another day in the neighborhood filled with clouds of mystery and brewing coffee....normalcy hidden...
well done...enjoyed this very much...thanks for sharing
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