so you sleep so peacefully
uncaring that I watch you
those eye lids moving along
with your tremulous dreams
your nose flaring a bit
the rise and fall of your chest
I subtly put my ears to it
picking up your heart beat
I sway to the rhythm of it
I steady myself and
my palms slide over you
your skin seeps ecstasy
into mine. closing my eyes
I join you in your dreams
adding some of my own..
19 comments:
Like this one.A tender gentle love poem.
A touching and beautiful poem
So lovely, and I like the way you took the prompt in another direction, very imaginative!
Simply soft and satisfying. Your poem is wonderful. Thank you Gautami.
Beautifully done.
So sweet...it gives me a warm feeling.
Hi Gautami,
A lovely, intimate moment before sharing your dreams.
from Therese L. Broderick -- I love how you remind us that dreams are not all mental static -- dreams are a physical phenomenon, a bodily state (like love is, too). I love the movement in this poem from distant observer to skin toucher to participant in the dream.
Gautami, I like your take on dream poetry from the outside, observing the dreamer, intimately, joining the dreamer imaginatively. Nice!
I like the multiple dreams occurring here, the unseen dreams of the sleeper perceived through body movements, the dreamy narrative, and the joining of the narrator and the dreamer.
"your skin seeps ecstasy into mine" a wonderful arrangement gautami, gives an excellent notion of warmth and sweat. enjoyed this serene setting.
-lawrence
Watching and touching somebody in his sleep can be so romantic and moving. But it can also be something very unwanted ... I think, this one has many layers.
Best wishes
Ralf
I find this very warm Gautami....thanks for this
After living with my love for so many years, I find your words very evocative of my own experiences. Now, sometimes, in the middle of the night, I stay awake to be absolutely sure I am hearing those treasured inhalations and exhalations.
I like..
the rise and fall of your chest
I subtly put my ears to it
Hi Gautami - This is so gentle and intimate. What a beautiful job you have done.
This sure would be interesting dreams
Delicately sensual and beautifully penned.
Liked the flow from watching to then being a part of it..too good Gautami.
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