Sunday, March 13, 2011

unknown gap

some thing flutters
I watch wings unfold
midnight blue resonates

slide of it is a tribute
to the earthy feel
of scented surroundings

my feet fall into big gap

24 comments:

Brian Miller said...

the first part makes me think og butterflies....

Jingle said...

cool imagery, Happy Sunday.
:)

Monkey Man said...

Spring blooms come to mind. Great Sunday 160. Thanks for playing again this week.

keiths ramblings said...

A delightful picture in words.

Kavita said...

I could only think of dreams here... cuz my mind drifts into such gaps in dreams... in and out.. in and out.. :)
Vivid and beautiful, Gautami!

Alice Audrey said...

Oh, you've been to the Bad Lands too? :)

magiceye said...

this is lovely!

Jinksy said...

I find 'slide' a rather uncomfortable way of expressing a silk or satin smoothness... It's a bit too close the the recent images of earthquake/landslips...

How about something like
'its whisper is a tribute' because silk whispers, and also gives an impression od sliding?

Hope you don't mind my suggesting a re-think? The butterfly image works well with midnight...

thingy said...

That last line is intriguing and a bit scary. This is a thinker, which I like very much.

gautami tripathy said...

The fluttering thing is not a butterfly....and there is nothing silken in here....at least not when I wrote it. If it got converted after I posted, then I don't know anything about that...

Deborah said...

I watch wings unfold
midnight blue resonates ... ooh just lovely!

jaerose said...

All those wonderful feelings..makes it worth taking that step..Jae

fiveloaf said...

nice.. here's my potluck.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/04/27/cheesecake/

Jingle said...

Thanks for sharing...

A++

abthomas said...

Fantastic images cascade my mind! Great write!

mairmusic said...

Your use of English is interesting, idiosyncratic.

Catherine Denton said...

The fall took me by surprise; I was too busy staring at the butterfly.
My Blog

oldegg said...

The unusual word configuration of this poem allows each of us to read our own interpretation into it.

I saw the curiosity in something beautiful leading me to danger! Intriguing post.

Andy Sewina said...

Love the line 'midnight blue resonates' I'm a midnight person too!

<3

bodhirose said...

Your gap remains unknown to me but I enjoyed your poem that had people thinking of butterflies, dreams, blooms, etc...

Thank you for sharing your link with me.

Meryl Jaffe said...

Cool poem - provides some structure and guidance, but it is up to us to figure out what it is.

Thanks!

Meryl
http://departingthetext.blogspot.com

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Like others, I'm seeing beauty and delicacy here, G. This is lovely, precise, and small. I just want to watch it alight on my hand, afraid to breathe lest it leave.

Steve Isaak said...

Excellent.

Vinay said...

calm imagery here, in your wings..! :) liked it.