Lately his fluidity of motion was gone
He was controlled with a sense that was somehow scary to her
He was out in the flowing river barely visible, she kept looking at time.
She had made sure, their watches synchronised.
Swimming back, without a word, he lay down besides her
Barely noticing her
Something has changed, she could not figure out the reason
His manner towards her was like painting, very formal, careful strokes
At night, he could not stay away from her
His passion burning bright like stars
Come daylight, as if the stars did not exist
She considered all the bad possibilities
It was a dive into the unknown
Whale’s song intruded into her thoughts
She shivered beside him
Turned towards him, she buried her face into his neck
He pulled her closer, sharing his warmth with her
Changed? Nothing had changed
His love for her had ripened
It could only get better with age
36 comments:
Very interesting blog.
I am scrolling through and reading archives.
Have a great weekend. By the way, Michelle sent me!
Chana
www.bunnyburrow.com
How nice for the woman that he still loved her. Men do go through silent periods, when they seem cold and distant. Your poem describes these feelings well.
i so hope that last line is true :)
Beautifully put!
Nice use of the prompt words - this is a lovely narrative of a relationship.
True love is eternal, regardless of age. This is very true.
Very well put.
Gautami, I am a sucker for a love story. I especially like the ending. I am sorry for not getting the words up yesterday. I simply forgot. Have a nice weekend.
Very nice poem. I really do like these writing exercises, it gives people a chance to fles their creative muscles a bit.
Michele sent me.
I loved the reality in this... after nearly 34 years of marriage, I can vouch it rings true... including the ending you gave it, Gautami.
beautiful!!
but often a times, it seldom holds as true in reality...
but i guess the possibility that it could is in itsself a wonderful feeling...:)
Interesting...
I love your writing style.
I love this, Gautami! How I wish I have the talent of writting poems! ;)
That was a beautifully written post to describe the doubt on the part of the woman and re-assurance given by the man.
sometimes i wish stuff like that was more common than it seems to be... this was very beautiful guatami
A beautiful vision!
Beautiful poem. I have enjoyed reading your blog.
Robin of mytwoblessings
Gautami - omother lovely piece and very different from your normal work. You never let us down
synchronized swimming? that was a hard one. I like how you separate it.
what a sweet piece.
Inspiring.
The promise of forever.
Eternal love.
'Tis possible.
I believe.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
Ahh, mature love. Not as intense, but yet deeper and more meaningful.
She was worried that something had changed. He reassured her that nothing had changed...
the endless possibilities of love!
This line was so descriptive: "His manner towards her was like painting, very formal, careful strokes". Relationships never stay the same even when we want them to; but I love the optimism of the last line because I believe it can be that way if we are working to make it so.
I think it's true what they say - love never dies. Very nice piece!
I think there was a change, change in what he wanted to see, and what he saw.
Lovely! The 'fluidity'carried from first line to last. :)
waow!! this was so cool..
in any relationship for that matter this is so true!
You have made very clever use of the Friday 5, especially 'synchronised swimming' and made a really good response to 'changed' at the same time.
A lovely piece! Thank you for the beautiful poem this morning.
beautiful and touching.
a beautiful tapestry of love...that we should all have experienced with age...
"His love for her had ripened
It could only get better with age."
Those two lines are so full of romantic possiblity. I love it!
Eeek sorry my real url is
http://ladybugsandcows.squarespace.com
painting with formal strokes. Great way to put it. Yes it happens but love deepens. Beautiful
This is a wonderful post. Change is a good thing if it is indeed for the better. Which his was.
I love this - but then I like most of your work.
Also, my email has been up and down all week, so I apologize for your link being added so late - I didn't get the notification.
Adore the richness of this! But I especially love the painting image!
Smiles and Light
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