Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Walking the sidewalk



His sweaty hands searched
Not a single penny in his pockets
Checked around to withdraw cash
Took out his card
He swiped it twice in the machine
Still nothing
What was wrong?
He blinked trying to clear his mind
It had been a long week
Although he had slept for two whole days, he still needed to rest
In mind, body, spirit
Kicking at the machine he turned away
Walking in the sidewalk which never seemed to end
Finding a corner, he sat down
Curling into a ball
Why did he not feel a thing when a dog sat down on top of him?

"Did he not know he was a ghost now?"

35 comments:

Truefaith1963 said...

Nice twist Gautami!

niebla said...

I liked the twist at the end as well - it came completely unexpected.

Still, some questions cropped up in my mind: - Do ghosts have sweaty hands? - Do ghosts carry cash cards (or just the ghosts of cash cards)? :)

gautami tripathy said...

niebla, in the fantasy world, ghosts are as alive as us.

Your question should have been: Do ghosts exist?

paisley said...

oh that would suck wouldn't it.. being dead,, not knowing it,, and being stuck in the same world you died in... whoa.....

ozymandiaz said...

damn that was good. you got me wondering if I'm a ghost now because the rest of the poem seemed to describe the way my days often seem to go

Scout said...

I love it! Well done and very imaginative. I'd like to see more on this theme.

Jane Doe said...

Awesome, I really love how you ended it. Great writing!

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

A visceral reaction to this!

pjd said...

Lyrical as always. I always like the rhythm of your poems. I think I might have liked this better without the ghost line at the very end.

Richard said...

Yeah, I agree with paisley - and on top of it, no cash - bummer.

It's a nice twist on the ghost world, but I'm wondering, dogs being super-sensory and all, if it would have sat down, or shied away?

sister AE said...

sneaky ending! I like it.

I played today too:

3WW

noahthegreat said...

Wow, the ending was a surprise. Really good!

You never disappoint.

Norma said...

I was surprised by the ending too, but since I don't believe in ghosts, I interpreted it differently.

tumblewords said...

Surprise after surprise. A quick, fantasy what-if poem. I enjoyed it!

Christine said...

Once again, you tell a whole story in a few short lines. My husband said the other day he wouldn't be afraid if he saw a ghost, he's be excited! Not if he were the ghost, I think.

Pri said...

interesting twist...
somehow reminded me of the 'bus ride' scene in the movie 'ghost' :)

myrtle beached whale said...

nice twist at the end. I love coming here. You never disappoint.

anthonynorth said...

Lovely ending. Really got into the 'spirit' of that.

lissa said...

that last line was a surprise, here I thought he was just having a bad day.

Jo Anne O. said...

Very interesting approach. I firmly believe that there are other dimensions around us all the time that we cannot normally see or move into, until we catch a glimpse out of the corner of our eye, or smell a scent of a long ago perfume, or a cold breeze on a hot summer day...then we know their is life beyond our understanding.

j.c. montgomery said...

As always I look forward to the endings as much as the beginnings; but in a very complimentary way I assure you!

Sherry ~ Cherie ~ ms. herbes de provence said...

We were on the same "sidewalk" with our thoughts yesterday Gautami...we see the same things in our cities though we are so very far apart in distance -- but we are not so very far apart as people. Beautifully said as always. And if only our "words" could effect the change that we need to see...

Leigh Lear said...

interesting ending

Borut said...

Made me smile...! In my world, ghosts exist... But,... it's just my world!?:)

gingatao said...

Cool, when the dog sat on him, what a perfect strangeness of image i thought, and then the clever twist to resolve the question, leaves the reader with a very satisfied feeling, excellently crafted poem.

TC said...

Definitely not the ending I was expecting!

pia said...

no rest for ghosts? was going to comment that you're so right--sleep and rest are two different things, but then that ending

Bone said...

Very interesting, Gautami. Reminded me a bit of the movie Sixth Sense, and what a sad moment it must be when you realize you're no longer in the physical world. Or maybe not sad. Hmm.

WriterKat said...

interesting ending. It works, but could have worked without it too. I was thinking of a newly homeless person when I read it, and it felt very real. The ghost was a surprise, I like that too. I do agree, I would switch "sweaty" maybe to glistening, cold, ??

Great job!

vEENs said...

OMG! what a twist!

unexpected totally!

as usual different and nice!

Mad Kane said...

Wow! You really took my by surprise there. Nice job!

polona said...

haunting - but in a good way

twentysomethingandclueless said...

Definitely didn't expect that ending! Great job :)

Christy said...

Interesting ending, reminds me of an episode of Medium. Much enjoyed reading it.

Fox said...

I enjoy the narrative aspects of the poem. The images are vivid and the writing is very clean.

The thought of the ghost walking and walking unaware is haunting and well delivered in that last line.