red slit skirt, silver slinky top
complemented
her ebony complexion
stiletto heels, dangling earrings
completed
her outfit
ash grey strand of pearls
adorned
her slender neck
her shiny hair fell around her
in sleek lines
shimmering with light
kohl rimmed eyes
filled with allure
she stood in a corner
nursing a drink
when he moved towards her direction
she stood her ground,
her expressions
not giving an inch,
although each hair
on her body recognised him
and
her mind picked on his lustful thoughts
"pen poised on paper, my words failed me
further. writing about their torrid affair
was beyond me, let alone conduct one"
complemented
her ebony complexion
stiletto heels, dangling earrings
completed
her outfit
ash grey strand of pearls
adorned
her slender neck
her shiny hair fell around her
in sleek lines
shimmering with light
kohl rimmed eyes
filled with allure
she stood in a corner
nursing a drink
when he moved towards her direction
she stood her ground,
her expressions
not giving an inch,
although each hair
on her body recognised him
and
her mind picked on his lustful thoughts
"pen poised on paper, my words failed me
further. writing about their torrid affair
was beyond me, let alone conduct one"
26 comments:
oh my.. i can fill in any and all of the blanks on this one... and many that you probably never even knew existed!!! this was wonderful!!!!
Perfect! And you stopped at just the right point to let us all fill in the blanks, in our own minds.
www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com
"...each hair on her body recognized him." That must have tingled...
Love how youexercise the writer's choice to stop and let the reader do some work! And telling the reader in clear terms to get on with it! That really was great!
Gemma
sometimes not telling things says more... and this is one of those cases... wonderfully intriguing
Such imagery.
Brilliant!
Definitely torrid, my friend.
I linked to an old one for now, but am working on something new. Stay tuned!
I like it. Particularly the details that painted the beauty. You've got a way with words.
Gautami - this is just perfect! You seem to know a lot about it!
definetely left me wanting more.
The unfinished unsaid ... really prolonged the mood .
Like a nice wine with a lasting finish.
It would have been beyound me too. ;)
Oops - that would be beyond - it's getting late. :)
It is amazing how this poem tells a lot even after it rolled to a halt. I like how you build the poem with details, your descriptive style of writing created a picture in the mind that I could almost see the character coming to life in the screen as I read this piece.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
I love how you described her, this is a very vivid poem. Great writing!
Brilliant description. Then?
A cliffhanger.
Such a tease :-)
vivid lines! i can feel the vibe.
Great imagery, and I really like how you've left so much unsaid.
Your descriptions are wonderful. I could picture her perfectly! Great! And I'm glad you stopped and left the rest to our imagination!
I could fill in the blanks but it would be far too torrid. Hehehe. You write in such a strong, visual style. Very nice!
I liked the way you described her hair raising feeling..
great moment and how creative to end so... most enjoyable...
Nice take on the prompt. :) "although each hair on her body recognised him"
Hey, I've had that feeling! Neat poem...
Scorched up...thats what this was...few words but thunderous thoughts...
Great job! I was just about ready to turn my filters off so I could finish reading your poem! Grin. Nicely done!
you set the stage up very nicely...we can certainly fill in the blanks! well done!
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