Friday, March 28, 2008

word by word



red slit skirt, silver slinky top
complemented
her ebony complexion

stiletto heels, dangling earrings
completed
her outfit

ash grey strand of pearls
adorned
her slender neck

her shiny hair fell around her
in sleek lines
shimmering with light

kohl rimmed eyes
filled with allure

she stood in a corner
nursing a drink


when he moved towards her direction
she stood her ground,
her expressions

not giving an inch,
although each hair

on her body recognised him
and

her mind picked on his lustful thoughts

"pen poised on paper, my words failed me
further. writing about their torrid affair
was beyond me, let alone conduct one"

31 comments:

paisley said...

oh my.. i can fill in any and all of the blanks on this one... and many that you probably never even knew existed!!! this was wonderful!!!!

ozymandiaz said...

dressed to kill hten kill she must
wonderful description.

Geraldine said...

Perfect! And you stopped at just the right point to let us all fill in the blanks, in our own minds.


www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

Noah The Great said...

This is great!

Richard said...

"...each hair on her body recognized him." That must have tingled...

Greyscale Territory said...

Love how youexercise the writer's choice to stop and let the reader do some work! And telling the reader in clear terms to get on with it! That really was great!

Gemma

polona said...

sometimes not telling things says more... and this is one of those cases... wonderfully intriguing

Whitesnake said...

Such imagery.
Brilliant!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Definitely torrid, my friend.

I linked to an old one for now, but am working on something new. Stay tuned!

Just Jen said...

its ok your pen stilled, it leaves it to the imagination :D you 'paint' quite a picture!

ratanaong said...

I like it. Particularly the details that painted the beauty. You've got a way with words.

keith hillman said...

Gautami - this is just perfect! You seem to know a lot about it!

Leigh Lear said...

definetely left me wanting more.

shubd said...

The unfinished unsaid ... really prolonged the mood .

Like a nice wine with a lasting finish.

texasblu said...

It would have been beyound me too. ;)

texasblu said...

Oops - that would be beyond - it's getting late. :)

Jeques said...

It is amazing how this poem tells a lot even after it rolled to a halt. I like how you build the poem with details, your descriptive style of writing created a picture in the mind that I could almost see the character coming to life in the screen as I read this piece.

I wish you well.

~ Jeques

Jane Doe said...

I love how you described her, this is a very vivid poem. Great writing!

anthonynorth said...

Brilliant description. Then?
A cliffhanger.
Such a tease :-)

Gilson said...

vivid lines! i can feel the vibe.

Robin said...

Great imagery, and I really like how you've left so much unsaid.

Linda Jacobs said...

Your descriptions are wonderful. I could picture her perfectly! Great! And I'm glad you stopped and left the rest to our imagination!

Just Jen said...

That's quite the opposite of your writing on that drawing. This lady is adorned for a night on the town!

Selma said...

I could fill in the blanks but it would be far too torrid. Hehehe. You write in such a strong, visual style. Very nice!

Lion Chiller said...

stunning!

Rambler said...

I liked the way you described her hair raising feeling..

One More Believer said...

great moment and how creative to end so... most enjoyable...

Constance said...

Nice take on the prompt. :) "although each hair on her body recognised him"
Hey, I've had that feeling! Neat poem...

Prats said...

Scorched up...thats what this was...few words but thunderous thoughts...

tumblewords said...

Great job! I was just about ready to turn my filters off so I could finish reading your poem! Grin. Nicely done!

rebecca said...

you set the stage up very nicely...we can certainly fill in the blanks! well done!