Sunday, May 17, 2009

tangled mess

disembodied she stared at nothing
rugged mountains loomed like giants
her designer suit looked like rags
nails chipped, filled with dirt
her tangled hair flying all over

frenzied she searched for a comb
(a woman always thinks of her hair)
finding none, she crumbled into herself
a hand found her shoulder
trucker offered her his own one

dirty though it was, she pulled it
through her unkempt hair
even the comb refused to go further
reflecting her life was in shambles
and now she was going to lose her hair

trucker took away the comb,
gently untangled it with his fingers
with a long suffering sigh
she leaned into him, disconnected
from everything but him

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the third in the series of road trip poetry. All stand on their own but if anyone wants to read all, here are the links:

road trip


road trip continued


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#Update: I dedicate my blog to Granny Smith. She is one of the best bloggers I have known. She lost her husband Otto on the 10th of May. Please do visit her and offer your condolences.


24 comments:

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

This is lovely and intense. I look forward to seeing where this ends up going.

AD said...

veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy tangly mess :)
but i loved the read!

http://whenhekissesher.wordpress.com/2009/05/16/disconnected/

songofsea said...

Nice read..its interesting.

Marja said...

Haven't been here for a while but again a first class poem

irenet said...

Your series read like a movie script, and engages the reader.

andy said...

Phew, perhaps the message is in the title, it'll be interesting to see how this untangles.
<3

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

So tender, G. And vivid. One of your best of late!

Linda Jacobs said...

I thought this sounded familiar! Now, I'm really intrigued. I think these poems could be made into a novel!

And so nice of you to dedicate your blog to Granny. I almost cried when I read her post about her husband.

RBroeker said...

Very impressive by describing action, thoughts and emotions without going a long way round. Only when commenting itself (line 7) a bit in the danger of redundancy. But who cares when the whole poem is great stuff to read.

Best wishes
Ralf

danni said...

beautifully woven and intriguing - so vivid and descriptive!!!

Diane said...

Your poetry is beautiful.

jone said...

I have pictures in my head. Love the last verse particularly.

unknownwriter49 said...

there is always a story to follow when I come here

keith said...

This is great stuff. Next please!

quin browne said...

always interesting to read

Tumblewords: said...

And what a trip it was - nice work!

The Warrior Poet said...

This is the first poem in read in this series, and its a very lovely one. Often in life we get ourselves into so many problems that we find difficult to come out of it. Just like her hair.

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

great work! as usual... :)

MichaelO said...

G'tami, wow! That was an emotive description of desperation. Finding sympathy in roughest corners of humanity. Enjoyed that!

Dee Martin said...

The contrasts! Loved it - the lady - a mess and the trucker, calm and strong...

floreta said...

i like the imagery and significance of the comb.

Bluebethley said...

Another lovely poem. The image of the lost and tangled lady and the strong trucker ties right into "disconnected".

Janice Thomson said...

Gosh I really liked the imagery this gives the reader. The ending was perfect. Can't wait to see if there's more :)

godessofnirvana said...

this was so real..bautiful.