the sky was so clear
my visage was mirrored in it
even in the dark
I could see the azure shade of it
stars were sprinkled all over
scattered yet some played truant
hiding behind a fatter one;
gathering at one place gossiping
watching the play of stars
shading moon, vast emptiness
I felt like a lost planet
searching for my own sun
at that moment I did agree
with W H Auden's opening line
a cloudless night like this
can set the spirit soaring
the clear sky showed me the path
I found you playing hide and seek
with the stars- the moonlight
reflecting your mischievous eyes
"pulled by your gravitational force
I dropped-from my orbit to yours"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you checked carry on tuesday?
26 comments:
oh guatami, that was excellent i love the way you referenced the original poem,, that was genius...
I imagine someone watching the stars and dreaming of playing up there
Very light and playful - I like it very much :)
Fantastic! I loved the way you used the prompt. Thanks so much for your support.
very deep- I like it!
Sounds good, especially playing hide and seek with the stars.
Okay, I have mischievous eyes but only others can decide if they reflect moonlight.
I like your prompt, it was fun to work with.
Thank you,
..
WOW! ...what a way to drop....loved it.
Just too good. Brilliant I must say.
very good, very good indeed!
Loved this.
really cool !!!
As a sky watcher, I loved it. Nicely done--now I'll have to go look up Auden's poem.
What a celestial romance. How absolutely wonderful.
Delightful! Do stars really gossip? What mischief!
It's been too long since I lay looking up at the night sky, a great reminder of one of life's treats.
I love the opening stanza-- made me want to run outside and see if I could find the mirror but alas, it is cloudy and raining.
ah, now it all makes sense. This prompt was an interesting challenge. Thanks for the lovely poem.
You're brilliant as a star in full bloom!
Thanks for the great prompt!
wonderful how you have used the play of the universe to reflect and deep and personal dance.
Excellent work Gautami and thanks again for the great prompt.
.. thank u for a creative poem and a good prompt ..
I too enjoy the physics of this one, G'tami! We are all celestial beings being played on by the gravity of all things. : )
A wonderful piece that plays on the cosmos and ellipticals. A nice ring of romance/love as well.
the last line i imagine to be a cute pick-up line :D
i like this a lot!
Wonderful, and they say, that the eyes are the window to the soul - this speaks to my heart.
<3
last night a quarter moon sang in a mysterious way.. thank you for placing the words to my unspoken thoughts...
Post a Comment