Poetry for me is a way of living, it comes out of nowhere and I have to write it down. How I write, what I write, I decide. I am not asking you to be judgemental. I am gifted with the ability to see beyond the obvious.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
the air hisses and crackles
my anger pours forth venom leaves behind havoc path is tarnished with acerbic words flames are visible far away the air hisses and crackles
"when rains douse the fire there is nothing but hard ground"
Woo! What an extended metaphor linking fire and anger! But "hard ground", insensitive and impenetrable, is like the final, powerful "crunch line". Dynamic!
really thought provoking, gautami. If the fire is allowed to burn out rather than doused prematurely, then the ground might be cracked and fallow and ready for seed and new growth.
Hi GT, this is another one (I counted 32 posts) using the 'hated fire.' If your friend did indeed burn in the car crash then I don't blame you at all. One can never forget a death like that, of burning to death. Way back when I was young a friend of mine died in a gasoline station fire. He worked there. A customer lit a cigarette and the whole station went up in flames. I don't know if the customer survived or not. All I remember is that I lost a very good friend all for the ignorance of one. I will never forget or forgive. ..
I love the acetylene fire of these words! But your summary in the last lines is really beautiful. It resolves the anger and highlights its pointlessness.
20 comments:
An angry poem today. It's good.
Wow. This touched me.
Rain can make a nice denouement, washing everything away.
Excellent poem!
Woo! What an extended metaphor linking fire and anger! But "hard ground", insensitive and impenetrable, is like the final, powerful "crunch line". Dynamic!
really thought provoking, gautami. If the fire is allowed to burn out rather than doused prematurely, then the ground might be cracked and fallow and ready for seed and new growth.
Wow, are you writing for Zeus--or one of the lightning gods?
sounds like a angry sky or a person lashing out, just like weather, we release our emotions and sometimes clears out what makes us unhappy
My goodness,you sound cross!Brilliant poem.
Indeed! Such fires do bake the earth.
Hi GT, this is another one (I counted 32 posts) using the 'hated fire.' If your friend did indeed burn in the car crash then I don't blame you at all.
One can never forget a death like that, of burning to death. Way back when I was young a friend of mine died in a gasoline station fire.
He worked there. A customer lit a cigarette and the whole station went up in flames.
I don't know if the customer survived or not. All I remember is that I lost a very good friend all for the ignorance of one.
I will never forget or forgive.
..
Excellent way to express your anger. Hope the rains doused and refreshed your mind. If not, time can proceed to heal.
Wow!
Who rattled your cage?
such strong words, "my anger pours forth venom" a great way to begin and an amazing ending.
I love the acetylene fire of these words! But your summary in the last lines is really beautiful. It resolves the anger and highlights its pointlessness.
Strong write - nothing but hard ground is a fine ending -
Love that brilliant ending Guatami.
Lots of ways to read this. Excellent.
Fire can be cleansing. Water extinguishes. Two very powerful elements at play.
Nothing but hard ground. What happened to the anger?
You write harshness, you write cold and dark, so beautifully...
I can relate. Good job.
Kat
..intense & thought provoking ..many thanks ..
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