Monday, April 18, 2011

aeons


forget night,
can be reminder
of stillness-
also drag
an amoral rendition
of frozen impact 

16 comments:

moondustwriter said...

Nicely done Shadorma
One suggestion on the second line the syllable count is I think one over - you could take " that" out and it would still read nicely
Hope you enjoyed getting to know the Shadorma

Moondustwriter

Jingle said...

superb!

A++

thingy said...

Amazing, Gautami.

Jannie Funster said...

whooo, amazing words strung together here.

amoral rendition -- let me stay away from doing renditions like that!

xoxo

sage said...

Frozen Impact... powerful

I like that photo, btw.

lynnaima said...

ouch, that was a bullet!!!! :)
http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/

ayala said...

Nicely done!

Sean Vessey said...

Thank you. I enjoyed your exploration of the form. :-)

Mia said...

wow! amazing!

Luna

http://lunawitch15.wordpress.com/

Brian Miller said...

i think in many ways we have forgotten that stillness having extended our night with artificial light...but stillness we need...

Old Ollie said...

Nice tight poem.

Cathy said...

Nice tight light.

Kati patrianoceu said...

intriguing photo, too! :)

LauraX said...

quite beautiful!

emily wierenga said...

this reminder of stillness, it gave me peace. thank you.

Joybird said...

fascinating