Tuesday, April 26, 2011

diamante

that snake
sneaking under a carpet
I can see its outline
I am numbed at one place
only my eyes move
those baubles distract me
I trap that snake 
with the reflected light from my eyes

"bloody diamonds can personify innocence too"

40 comments:

Steve Isaak said...

Interesting, solid take on the picture.

vivinfrance said...

I see no snakes! How frightening.

Tania. F. Walsh said...

Well written, and I liked the suspense you created. very nice...

Christine said...

snake eyes are entrancing. Nice write.

Sean Vessey said...

I love how you trapped the snake with the reflected light from your eyes. Great Write.

ayala said...

Nicely written!

Brian Miller said...

that last line steals it...

Asobime said...

This sticks in my mind, and I had to read it over and over thinking there was something I was missing.

No, it's complete and perfect as it lays.

Lady Nyo

signed...bkm said...

great take on the prompt...glad you have trapped this snake..what eyes you must have...well done..bkm

dustus said...

An amazing poem. I think this one is my favorite of yours. Such a creative take on the prompt too.

Donna B said...

Very interesting...wonderful images.

haikulovesongs said...

"the reflected light from my eyes"

stunning!

sonny said...

diamonds.....innocent ???

grins

Ann Grenier said...

Gautami,
I am left to ponder how bloody diamonds personify innocense. Perhaps, and what makes so much poetry intriguing, you are writing to a personal incident or idea that must remain a mystery -tantalizing. I suppose mesmerizing snake eyes are innocent outside of metaphor --- thank you for the gem of a puzzle.

earlybird said...

I like this. Particularly the last two lines. Good take on the prompt

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

This one's so cryptic!

Nice piece, Gautami!

Kathe W. said...

well done! Interesting twist.

liv2write2day said...

Lots of symbolism in this one...snakes as an image of transmutation!

upinthecosmos said...

Cool take on the picture.

James Rainsford said...

Great intensity and economy of language here.

Sheila Moore said...

oh, a snake charmer, are you? thanks for sharing your one shot with me :)

LauraX said...

"bloody diamonds can personify innocence too"...love this last line!

Andy said...

Trapping the snake with your eyes...you charmer you. Nicely done.

(Thanks for visiting my blog)

Joanna said...

Good work, Grasshopper!

Kim Nelson said...

Well done! Both poetically and in the realm of capturing snakes!

Amanda Moore said...

wonderful and entrancing hope that snake is gone tho =)

Finally said...

This is deep! I thought of "blood diamonds," and how they represent the danger that can lurk in the things that entice us most.

Gigi Ann said...

If I saw a snake sneaking under a carpet, I would be out of there in a hurry. I am not a snake lover. Interesting poem.

marousia said...

Love it - you packed so much menace into so few words - all that glitters is not gold :)

Carl said...

Great piece - I enjoyed this quite a bit!

Glenn Buttkus said...

kaleidoscopes can be made up
of anything colorful in the object
chamber, even sequins or
snake scales; and your piece,
this poetic baffling that you
thrust out there among us,
makes a word journey that
only you see the direction of,
and yet we see, we read those
marvelous words, and the imagery
clings to our viscera. There is
something significant happening
here, loss of innocence, guilt,
remorse, lust, greed, murder--
keep us guessing for it is good
to travel in undiscovered terrain.

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Startling image, for some reason it made me see Gloria Swanson in her famous scene at the end of Sunset Boulevard where she walks down the stairs and says 'All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up'

Nimue said...

awesome thoughts .. the last line was a clincher !!

Dulce said...

Great vision...
And metaphor...
snakes , as life, can bring trouble- or not... depending on the kind... i guess
Great OSW
Thank for your visit Gautami :-)

R. Burnett Baker said...

I found this to be a great social commentary. Very well written!

Rick

Tumblewords: said...

Mysterious piece. A fine read!

Suko said...

This is captivating!

Trulyfool said...

Gautami,

Your eyes work lightning in them and ward-off danger.

Trulyfool

sukipoet said...

ah, to be distracted by baubles

Margaret Pangert said...

There does seem to be a coiled snake in there! And the flashing light reflecting from the baubles to your eyes to the snake would stop it dead in its tracks! A very imaginative poem!