Monday, November 19, 2007

congealed----Read Write Poem & Monday Poetry Train



This poem is an attempt by combining a few American Sentences. Each sentence contains 17 syllables. It’s simply the name Allen Ginsberg chose for this poetry form. You can read more about American Sentences at www.americansentences.com, where Paul Nelson talks about them in detail.

time just moves quietly like sand pouring from the gaps of my fingers
red bricks visible to the eyes, those austere walls stare back, reflecting
nothing, starkness means we draw anything on those, not feel guilt ridden
is that possible? conditioned the way we are of embellishments,
plain objects means drabness, which needs to be taken care of drastically
by social norms, that standardizes so-called behavioural patterns.
hard-hitting questions dance around in mind with no specific answers.
blocking out, I take out milk and try to cook my breakfast, spoiling it.
congealed oats- stuck to the walls of glass- reminder of my gelled life.

I am trying out this auto-linky thing for the first time!!

31 comments:

art predator said...

very cool! a prose poem composed of american sentences! i like it! and i may have to try it myself!

Y said...

cool poem!
it is interesting, i haven't heard of this style. i will have to check out the link. thanks for sharing this.

Danika / OpenChannel said...

Wow, what a trip. Paul Nelson was my business partner years ago. We co-founded SPLAB together in the mid-90's. Yes, I've always liked this form, but I've never seen anyone apply it to a longer poem, just single haiku-like poems.

Very cool, you should send it to Paul, he would appreciate it.

I love the more abstract ideas moving down into the tangible and mundane idea of breakfast oats. This form worked well for your style and rhythms, in particular your line breaks.

Jo said...

Interesting images, Gautami. I didn't dare try a combo, I found them tricky enough as they stood.......which is weird because I usually find haiku a breeze.

Ann said...

Very cool. Interesting form. I've never tried it before. Might have to give it a go.

Christine said...

Your poem is great! It all flows nicely into the last line, which I remember clearly from your first post. You are gifted at this American Sentence style. I look forward to reading more of this type of poem of yours.

Ghost Particle said...

i like the new template. But what does the autolink thing do?

Nice form of poem...interesting.

Joy Renee said...

lovely evocative images. i especially like that it seems to tell a story.

time has been much on my mind this week so this speaks strongly to me.

Crafty Green Poet said...

this flows nicely. You've lost your landscape at the top of your blog!

...deb said...

You are always a brave one. I could only attempt one-sies--two-sies. And here you have a poem.

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

Interesting concept, hadn't thought of the combined sentences, but they work well.

Rose

xo

Jill said...

I cangratulate you for doing a so good job with this so difficult kind of poem!! I find it impossible to do that kind of poem and being able to have a result just a bit beautiful!!
I admire you for this!!!

gautami tripathy said...

Danika, I emailed this to Paul Nelson. Let us see if it pleases him or he slays me!

julia said...

'blocking out, I take out milk and try to cook my breakfast, spoiling it.
congealed oats- stuck to the walls of glass- reminder of my gelled life.'

LOVE your closing lines. I agree with everyone - this form suits your voice perfectly. Thanks for popping by my party!

UL said...

Superb Gautami, wow. You make it sound so easy, yet I learnt how difficult. "reminder of my gelled life" says it all. Thank you.

T.A.Chase said...

I like this style of poetry, Gautami and your poem is very good. :)

homo escapeons said...

ga-roooooooveey mama!
I was diggin your jive...
it sounds like a trip that I took back in the 60s..
Far Out!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

That comes across as something Ginsburg would have come up with, yeah. And darned hard, too!

I admire people with the discipline to do these sorts of poems. Way cool.

writerwoman said...

Very interesting twist to combine several American Sentences into one long poem. I like the creation you came up with.

Pauline said...

how cool that you combined them to make a poem and yet each one can stand alone. Have you tried writing ghazals?

Roscoe James said...

Nice. I'll have to give this a try.

Amy Ruttan said...

That's really neat. I'll have to try it out for one of my Christmas editions. :)

Jessica said...

You did the linked lines really well. I tried my hand at it this morning and it felt like the lines were really long. You, however, used your line breaks and vivid imagery to keep the poem moving. Nice!

kimberley said...

You took on quite an enterprise! I've thought to integrate my lines into a poem, but not a poem entirely made up of American Sentences. Well done!

Missy said...

Wow! This is my first glimpse of American sentences. Loved it!

Catherine said...

I liked the last line particularly - "reminder of my gelled life"

slynne said...

This was great! I loved the way you brought it all together, I could only put one sentance out there as a thought. This was great!

Rhian said...

this was fascinating and incredible!
whoot! you go Gautami!
tried to visit last night but google kept throwing me out. beast.
i'm gonna have to try this one....

aka Danny Wise said...

Yeah, I like it! I think it's really good that you managed a whole poem of American Sentences at such short notice. The link thingy's really hi-tech too!

polona said...

very interesting and a beautiful flow to this poem.

Left-handed Trees... said...

Beautiful--and I liked the idea of hanging them all together like this...
Love,
D.