Sunday, November 04, 2007

no one's child---cafe writing

scrawling nonsense on a back of a torn envelope,
he keeps away from his mother who is busy in the next room.
a gnat lands on him biting hard on his lips.
perplexed at first, the child howls with pain.

barrage of questions start
as soon as his mother arrives to check on him.

his loud cries continue even after the sting is gone.
after a moment’s hesitation, his mother holds him close to her,
soothing his agitated mind.

his bawling subsides.
him with a piece of chocolate,
his mother retreats again- leaving him to his own devices;
for a night of debauchery with a faceless man.

~tired, the child falls asleep~


craziequeen said...

wow - very poignant........

Michele sent me to see what you've been scribbling :-)


Dawn-Enigma Artist said...

Oh, I could spend hours here!

(But not until December)

I love finding "new to me" blogs through Michele.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Brilliant. And, yes, poignant.

BreadBox said...

Lovely, Gautami.
Michele sent me,

(Would have been a longer comment, but we're rushing out the door...)

Shannon akaMonty said...

What a story you've told! I love it.

Hello, Michele sent me!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I started wincing at the gnat bite and didn't stop.

The tone of this is different; nicely done!

ribbiticus said...

very nice! i could almost see the scene before me. michele says hi! enjoy the rest of your weekend! ;)

OldLady Of The Hills said...

This is wonderful Gautami...The whole story in just a few paragraohs...Beautiufulky said, my dear...I think that is a great gift---to be able to tell us something that is a complete story in so few words...Thank Youy!

Michele thinks so, too!

Becca said...

A masterful use of the assigned words - they fit seamlessly into this poem, tells an entire story in just a few carefully chosen stanzas.

Well done!

sister AE said...

I waited to read this until I had written my version of the Pick Three. Yours is quite strong, but still human.