Monday, November 12, 2007

stonewalls enthrall---Monday Poetry Train and Cafe Writing

Using the following image from Option One of November Project for Cafe Writing, I wrote a villanelle after a very long time. I offer the same for Monday Poetry Train too. I know it needs a bit of re-work. I am still posting it.

















candle light casts flickering shadows on stonewall

marked with time’s stamps. attention fluctuates
between reality and fantasy, poised- thoughts stall

for more composure, pen flows with almost a crawl
on yellowed parchment, all of a sudden accelerates.
candle light casts flickering shadows on stonewall,

projecting images from the psyche, enthralling all
for unexpected adventure, which only can accentuate
between reality and fantasy, poised- thoughts stall

with closed fists, helplessly compelled. shawl
pulled tight, it is the cold, surrounding assimilates.
candle light casts flickering shadows on stonewall.

wavering by winds, awaiting eagerly for downfall
pen moves briskly on paper, whatever lips advocate,
between reality and fantasy, poised- thoughts stall.

so much history is contained between these walls
yet secrets have to be kept away- not precipitate.
candle light casts flickering shadows on stonewall
between reality and fantasy, poised- thoughts stall.

21 comments:

Rhian said...

FABULOUS!!! This was great:
"wavering by winds, awaiting eagerly for downfall
pen moves briskly on paper, whatever lips advocate,
between reality and fantasy, poised- thoughts stall."

often, so very very true!

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

((((Gautami))))

This is so good. I love how your 'thoughts stall' and 'flicker on the stone walls'. I think only a writer can relate to those lines. The joy and despair that are twins in the creative process.

Rose

xo

Roscoe James said...

Surreal - candle light casts flickering shadows on stonewall
marked with time’s stamps. attention fluctuates
between reality and fantasy, poised- thoughts stall

Kai C. said...

i love it!
hugs

R.G. ALEXANDER said...

Beautifully done-I totally relate.

Carol said...

That was wonderful. Such vivid imagery. I need to try that form some time. I'm lazy and it means really working hard at the poetry, but so worth it when finished. Carol
visit: http://carol-carolsinkspot.blogspot.com

Joy Renee said...

for some reason i'm imagining Jane Austen or one of the Bronte sisters as the writer in this poem, though i've no idea whether they sat in stonewalled rooms as they penned their stories; literally with pens.

lovely imagery.

julia said...

A villanelle! Courageous, Gautami. Even though you want to work at it in the future, I'm so glad you posted it now. Your final verse is magnificent:
'so much history is contained between these walls
yet secrets have to be kept away- not precipitate.
candle light casts flickering shadows on stonewall
between reality and fantasy, poised- thoughts stall.'
I salute you!

Missy said...

You never fail to impress me with your skills, guatami. Fantastic villanelle! I've never tried writing that form, but am always in awe of those that can do it successfully.

UL said...

This was superb -"thoughts stall", "Candle light", "stonewall" are now words that will forever stay in my mind, and will remind me of this poem! Thank you. BTW, I just tagged you, hope you wont mind, no pressure to play, I thought it would be fun. Thanks.

Jill said...

You did really translate the picture into your own words, Gautami!!
And I like the fact that I could feel the transe of when you are inspired through your lines!!

Red Garnier said...

Wow, amazing!!! Thank you for sharing this is beautiful and you really capture the pain and pleasure that writing is to all of us writers. ;)

Steve said...

I would have to say one of your better works to date.
You can see,hear, smell and taste all that is read.

Like some one said. Superb!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

This is incredible, Gautami! I love the way the repeating lines don't just repeat, but they take us to a new place, a new depth in the poem.

It's easy to appreciate the form when it's done so well.

trinitystar said...

Beautiful Gautami,
One could easily visualise this poem. A delight to read.
I love the stalling of the thoughts too.
:o)

STAK said...

that was quite well written!....

AscenderRisesAbove said...

thinking of thoughts flickering on stone walls... such imagery

speaking of which...

i love that you are using large illustrations now... I am an eye-candy kinda gal and find they make the world of difference (to me anyway)

Danika / OpenChannel said...

Nicely done, Gautami! One of my favourite forms and you chose a challenging rhyme. It flowed well and I like the creative way you managed the fourth stanza rhyme.

polona said...

i am full of admiration for your structured poems. another wonderful villanelle!

MissMeliss said...

Gautami - many apologies, comments aren't being emailed the way they're supposed to be and I only saw this today. It's AMAZING. If I had an ounce of your talent...

writerwoman said...

I love the last verse the most. Intense. You do a great job with this form of poetry.