Saturday, September 18, 2010

about fish, chips and nothing else much

a whispers in its ear
trapped in that net
it tries to wriggle free
siblings lie low giving in to fate
awaiting impending death

tang of salty water
still on its lips
the world of water receded so fast
into the air
onto the ground
that net pounds

jump, jump
a whisper in its ear
with all the might it breaks free
again into that bottomless see
joie de vivre never afar
siblings too follow the lead

our fisherman is left high and dry
his dreams of chips and fish fry
have gone all awry

25 comments:

vivinfrance said...

Leave it fallow for a week, and you'll be surprised - either you'll love it to bits, or corrective action will present itself to you.

anthonynorth said...

Ah, fish and chips. I'm hungry now. nice one.

Deborah said...

I loved this and I'm glad the little fishes got away!

Mary said...

Hurrah for the fish that got away. Cheering for the 'little guy' here.

I agree with Viv.

Diane T said...

A fish that frees itself is to be celebrated. My poem has that aspect in it also!!

gautami tripathy said...

Viv, thanks. I took down what I wrote there on my post.

Let the reader decide, what he/she thinks of this poem.

sage said...

Nice, and I now want fish for dinner!

Susannah said...

I am glad it got away! :-)

Systematic Weasel said...

Nicely written! So much talk of fish is actually making me a bit hungry, LOL! Awesome post! =)

-Weasel

Elizabeth said...

I too, like the fact that the little one got away. But, I also agree with Viv, let it sit for a week, then go back and take another look. I do that often, sometimes find a line or two, sometimes only needs a tweak in a certain direction. And sometimes I just decide that maybe it needs to hibernate for a bit longer. Good luck, whatever you decide.

Elizabeth

flaubert said...

Nice Gautami!
Pamela

Ramesh Sood said...

I can imagine the siblings singing and dancing and laughing and the fish having real joy of living.. yes that's what freedom does.. A lovely write.. Gautami..

http://rameshsood.blogspot.com/2010/09/my-100th-post-of-2010-for-osi-hh.html

Aoife.Troxel said...

It was lovely they escaped but I really was expecting a meal somewhere in there!
It is, though, a reminder that the elation of freedom is not limited to us. Reading Northanger Abbey yesterday I was reminded that "the poor beetle, which we tread upon, in corporal sufferance feels a pang as great as when a giant dies." It has much the same sentiments as your poem.

Linda Jacobs said...

Even though I'm the wife of a fisherman, I'm secretly cheering for the little guy!

I've had major writer's block so haven't been around but I love the new look of your blog!

Marianne ~ said...

Isn't it amazing how we can all look at the same painting and be inspired to go in so many different directions with our poems! Well done!

Harshad mehta said...

Escape from jaws of death can bring real joie de vivre! Well written.

b_ said...

I think I know what you mean, but there are some really good bits in here. I really like the jump, jump stanza and the whole idea of the fish siblings.

ladynimue said...

new look is awesome !! and i love your story form poetry :)

Sweetest in the Gale said...

I always tend to root for the underdog, so I'm glad the little fish escaped! Very clever poem.

Anonymous said...

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potluck is open, if you have old poems to share, link in NOW,
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Thanks for the participation!
Happy Sunday!

Bloggin'withAmanda said...

So in the end the fish wins freedom I loved the ending it was nice to see the world through the yeys of the fish that got away!

Sandra.if said...

they also can enjoy life!

Jim said...

I like fish 'n' chips a whole lot.
But I suppose I should be glad this one got away.
It is a cute little poem. I love your idea.
..

Patti said...

Nicely done- I am so glad he got away! This was really cute~

ms pie said...

i like the sense of freedom u r writing with...