Poetry for me is a way of living, it comes out of nowhere and I have to write it down. How I write, what I write, I decide. I am not asking you to be judgemental. I am gifted with the ability to see beyond the obvious.
Monday, September 13, 2010
a child's play
that yellow ball orbits in air drops perfectly in the ditch a child dithers to catch it his hands stick into mud ghosts of dead children haunt his neighborhood
WOW. Everyone has the same take. What it reminded me of is that the packages of food airlifted to the Middle East were yellow, and so were the bombs, which detonated when touched. That's what I took from it, and that's about as sad as it gets. Was that your intention?
24 comments:
You have an ethereal one going here. Thanks for playing the Sunday 160.
powerful poem Gautami!
Pamela
Its an awesome poem, great work. hope to see more
Such atmosphere and depth in so few words..very strong and visual piece..thank you for your vist..Jae
A brief but so vivid piece of writing. Your final line anchors the other images with a haunting quality. This is a beautiful poem,
Elizabeth
That was an unexpected ending!
It really sucks that there's so much pain hidden behind innocence...
I see Susan's point, but I like that a child can still find joy in the world.
Yikes! That went from sweet to scary with barely a breath between. Nicely done.
Sweet. Sad. Reality. I like to hope there is hope....I appreciate you dropping by and leaving a comment on my blog.
Su-sieee! Mac
This and That. Here and There. Now, Sometimes Then.
WOW. Everyone has the same take. What it reminded me of is that the packages of food airlifted to the Middle East were yellow, and so were the bombs, which detonated when touched. That's what I took from it, and that's about as sad as it gets. Was that your intention?
Sort of innocent and scary all together.
Powerful words indeed!
Very nice work. Short poems are difficult. You mastered the simplicity.
so very well plotted 160.
Thanks for sharing with poetry pot luck!
Such depth in your words..very strong and powerful poem..thank you for linking with Potluck. xx
deep it is cheers!!!
different- very different style- enjoyed it!
Wow I love the haunting feel of this :3
This started out so sweet and ended on an eerie note! Packs a lot in few words.
Definitely a poem of two halves - both beautifully crafted. I loved "a child dithers".
Brief but pungent. Very effective ... I like it.
Happy potluck!
Ending gave me a chill—it begins so sweet and innocent. cheers
Short yet full of life.
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