In the dock lies a half-eaten banana
thrown by that little child in an embellished skirt
a swarm of flies land on the debris
making it their temporary home
from afar the flies seem to chant prayers
maybe seeking answers for their early demise
I had assumed they had no backbone,
the evidence belies me,
you can see the time trickling away to their tunes
what I see is a blank wall splattered with ketchup
from another half-eaten burger,
this time a grown up being the culprit.
"now the flies ask, where are the fries?"
49 comments:
I would to relation, as goes the sayings, like father, like son.... or like mother, like daughter. Someone had to instill the yearning for art.
im mesmerized by your delivery of words. every line is a jewel.
that's really a creative one.. beautifully crafted
Interesting metaphors. I'm still deciphering meaning though. How could the speaker be wrong that a flies don't have backbones? Hmmm.
The last line is a killer.
http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/
I meant *that flies
very creative, a very nice Magpie
Thanks for visiting my site :)
This was an extremely fun read. Thanks for your Magpie. Love and Light, Sender
Now where did that come from? Excellent!
Hah! Great read-!
Fascinating - I never thought of flies as sentient beings ;-)
That brought a smile to my face!
CJ xx
Haha! I literally just posted a post about flies yesterday, so have a slightly more irreverent interpretation of this.
Gautami, you always amaze me. Putting these two particular prompts together is fantastic and makes for a bit of a grinning little jewel.
Elizabeth
Love that last line! Great Big Tent/Magpie combo platter. Pass the ketchup!
I absolutely hate flies or maybe I have an irrational fear of flies, but that aside this is an excellent and creative poem. Thanks for sharing!
ah, the grown up culprit brought it all about - a fun and very clever post!
this is very cool
mmm...salty fries w/ ketchup
Rene
Interesting and unique. I really liked your poem.
That last line is an absolute cracker!
The ending is really priceless!
Flies have a great deal of backbone! I like the idea of their sound being like chanting prayers.
Super fun read..brilliant
Fries for Flies - what a great slogan for a beefburger chain! LOL :)
I love your playing words that notice! :)
I agree with most... the last line is poetry perfection. Love and Light, Sender
cute!
When I wrote this, I definitely did not aim for it to be light or cute. Maybe I lost the irony somewhere..
All I read of the comments is your reply just above this:
no the irony is certainly not lost on me. I wouldn't call the poem cute, more a statement of the facts as you see them in very elegant language. And it's funny too.
Wonderful take on the prompt! =)
-Weasel
Gautami excellent take on the wordle!
Pamela
I agree we need to watch what we are doing if for no other purpose then someone else will follow suit. Great job with the Magpie and wonderful ending.
No Gautami, you didn't lose your irony. It's cultural. I lived in Bangladesh for two years and I have seen things. You can take flies chanting prayers with a level of seriousness that is not easy in Christendom. Also the fact that the sacred can appear within garbage and excrement is a realistic concept for people of Eastern cultures and this concept is also difficult for Westerners to take seriously.
You don't have to hold a spiritual stance to know of it as one does in a Hindu land where there are so many paths of devotion or study, or know of it the way that Buddhists and Jains do, or the Tibetan Bon or even the pantheisms of the tribes.
So you see, without that depth of basically unconscious assumptions, your work makes sense but in a much lighter vein. The telling comment is jabblog's who said she had never thought of flies as sentient beings. Your poem comes off a little lighter and more amusing if one does not automatically understand that flies are sentient, and that finding God in garbage is an ordinary if perhaps painful moment.
I like the idea of flies seeking to understand their short life spans. I wonder if a fly's life seems long to it.
What I see most vividly is a fly, rubbing its two front legs together, with relatively giant eyes, in thought . . . where are the fries? Excellent poem.
Cheeky and what an enlightening look at flies.
My favorite line:
from afar the flies seem to chant prayers
— a beautifully constructed poem
i never thought of flies lamenting their short lives. that's wonderful.
love your creativity,
I visited the first time to see how everyone is doing before I do mine.
my entry is here
flies gotta eat too... like the looks of your new blog too...
The grotesqueness of the flies swarming on the debris is nicely counterbalanced by your last line.
Loves the flies/fries play and the images here.
and i think of hungry tummies and the food that is wasted...love that the flies pray...smiles. nice magpie!
I so very much like the flies chanting. Tremendous image with its buzzing filling my head. Love it when a few words fill in the gaps like that.
very interesting--love the choice and juxtaposition of words-c
Ah! A microcosm of life on a banana peel and a dollop of ketchup, all lending respect for the fly. (I actually am quite fond of little delicate flies who come around in late summer/early autumn. They seem to appreciate attention.)
a poem about littering was the first thing I thought when I seen the words, but I could not get together anything even quasi-poetic on littering .
But you did it, and with a sense of healthy humour too - I like the end line.
Amazing, Gautami! I loved that last line!!!
Commentary on food waste stunning, especially just the suggestion of throwing (away) food upon a wall. The witnessing by the flies is such an amazing point of observation. Thank you for sharing this observation.
Whoa!! Creative and poignant!
And a really striking analogy too! How often do we keep whining for more! And how do we waste away what we have.. phheeww
A brilliant take on the Magpie, Gautami..
Post a Comment