spurting juice
I catch it in my mouth
an apple
reminds me of you-
the days we shared
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I talk into it
gibberish, incoherent
my mobile phone
gives me an earful
like the way you did
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it wobbles
like an old man
this chair
I have had for years-
a landmark
`````````````````````````````````````````````
I brush it
a tapestry forms on it
that wall
a witness to my joys
smudges speak of sorrows
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I massage it
with gentle strokes
olive oil
on your skin
smooth as mine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From AppleHouse Poetry Workshop
... of 5 lines where the middle line acts as a pivot, i.e. it can be read in conjunction with the first two lines, or it can be read as the line that leads into the final two.
24 comments:
I loved the creative combination of this...thanks so much for linking with Potluck, your support means so much!! xx
nice. i like the form...and i was not familiar with it though you play it well...i like the first one..the apple being a lover...nice one shot!
so clever and nicely done
each a treat
Thanks for sharing with One Shot
moon smiles
You've used the form very well!
beautiful work.
very nice - I think I like the second one best, for some reason it tugs at my heartstrings
Very different. Great words.
Very original, I love your creativity.
loveNlight
Gabi
Great use of form... like each individual and it works well as a whole. Nice One Shot!
Interesting form, and you used it well. Good one shot!
I like this. It's an interesting form, and you do it well.
Thanks for your visit.
i like finding new forms of poetry. yours were all well written with imagery that was very clear.
your words are lovely.
Love this interesting form...thanks for sharing!
This is lovely-- your touch as a writer is confident. I especially like the wobbling chair-- poignant, as we hope that chairs will hold us when we cannot hold ourselves...xj
INteresting technique, using the middle line as a two-way pivot point - makes one read it differently. Nice One Shot!
A very interesting and fun group of poems.
Clever piece, unique in its beauty. Nifty form you use.
Great Pot Luck and One Shot piece!
Another innovative work from you this week. I didn't know this form either; but you employ it well. Each acting solo or together as a composite/collage of a couple at home. Well done, you! Thanks, Gay @beachanny
I LOVE these~ Remind me of Japanese tanka, though the form's syllables don't quite make it....5/7/5/7/7...
But it doesn't matter~! You got that pivot line right, which I find VERY hard~ LOL~
These are bright and beautiful gems. And if OneSpotPoetry allows tanka....I am very happy. My very favorite form of poetry. (along with freeverse)
It's so nice to see a poet inventing in this form. What great freedom and sentiment with so little words. That is magic to me~
Beautiful poems, and Thank You~!
Lady Nyo
I liked the concept.
Words can do wonders sometimes when cleverly weaved.Good job!
"I brush it
a tapestry forms on it
that wall
a witness to my joys
smudges speak of sorrows"
Liked this one the best!:)
Very Imaginative ... now there are so many forms are coming up that I get bewildered sometimes.. recently started writing Gogyohka at twitter... too
But anyways, all your verses are so beautiful and all very meaningful... Thanks for sharing the new style..
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog:http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
Love the old man chair and the phone - they both reminded me of me. Your poetry is an exploration, which makes it worthwhile and such a creative, good read. Keep writing!!
Nice one. Very creative!
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