Monday, September 13, 2010

a child's play


that yellow ball
orbits in air
drops perfectly in the ditch
a child dithers to catch it
his hands stick into mud
ghosts of dead children
haunt his neighborhood

24 comments:

Monkey Man said...

You have an ethereal one going here. Thanks for playing the Sunday 160.

flaubert said...

powerful poem Gautami!
Pamela

Anonymous said...

Its an awesome poem, great work. hope to see more

jaerose said...

Such atmosphere and depth in so few words..very strong and visual piece..thank you for your vist..Jae

Elizabeth said...

A brief but so vivid piece of writing. Your final line anchors the other images with a haunting quality. This is a beautiful poem,

Elizabeth

ana said...

That was an unexpected ending!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

It really sucks that there's so much pain hidden behind innocence...

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

I see Susan's point, but I like that a child can still find joy in the world.

Alice Audrey said...

Yikes! That went from sweet to scary with barely a breath between. Nicely done.

Su-sieee! Mac said...

Sweet. Sad. Reality. I like to hope there is hope....I appreciate you dropping by and leaving a comment on my blog.
Su-sieee! Mac
This and That. Here and There. Now, Sometimes Then.

sharplittlepencil said...

WOW. Everyone has the same take. What it reminded me of is that the packages of food airlifted to the Middle East were yellow, and so were the bombs, which detonated when touched. That's what I took from it, and that's about as sad as it gets. Was that your intention?

Nessa said...

Sort of innocent and scary all together.

Dasuntoucha said...

Powerful words indeed!

beejayjr said...

Very nice work. Short poems are difficult. You mastered the simplicity.

Jingle said...

so very well plotted 160.
Thanks for sharing with poetry pot luck!

Amanda said...

Such depth in your words..very strong and powerful poem..thank you for linking with Potluck. xx

wiserskydiver said...

deep it is cheers!!!

fiveloaf said...

different- very different style- enjoyed it!

RiikaInfinityy said...

Wow I love the haunting feel of this :3

TALON said...

This started out so sweet and ended on an eerie note! Packs a lot in few words.

vivinfrance said...

Definitely a poem of two halves - both beautifully crafted. I loved "a child dithers".

JamieDedes said...

Brief but pungent. Very effective ... I like it.

Happy potluck!

dustus said...

Ending gave me a chill—it begins so sweet and innocent. cheers

cesargealogo said...

Short yet full of life.