Thursday, September 09, 2010

crooked window




















nay, I did not say that
not anything anyone need know
how did the whispers get heard
why did the wind spin a tale
plucking from the silky depths

you stand behind that window
your reflection looms large
I stare angrily at that
muttering under my breath
when did you steal my veil

soon your face will get blue,
turning you into an apostrophe
the frames will engulf you
I will keep counting the branches
while you cut out the slashes

"you a faceless entity, hiding behind the city"

27 comments:

Kristen Haskell said...

This poem is too close for comfort for me. Every line moves me.

kathew said...

yikes....powerful anger

Tumblewords: said...

Strong, vivid and more than a little chilling.

Derrick said...

Strong emotions in this. I love the beginning: "how did the whispers get heard" ?

nan said...

Wow - strong poem. Doesn't it feel good to get that out?! I liked this prompt and the deep emotions it allowed to surface.

Tilly Bud said...

Angry stuff!

willow said...

Strong piece! I especially like "turn you into an apostrophe". Well done.

Greyscale Territory said...

The anger slips into the chilling darkness of spiteful curse! A dynamic piece of poetry!

vivinfrance said...

This one goes rather deeper into the prompt than some of us. Bravo.

flaubert said...

Gautami
This is beautiful and the last stanza is so powerful!
Pamela

Elizabeth said...

Your 'editor' might be ducking for a few days, but that won't hurt anything. That slant view can be a wonderful thing, but also exhausting at times.

Elizabeth

caroleesherwood said...

whispers & wind!

in life, i really really love those moments when we say, "what was that?" and try to listen carefully to what may or may not be the wind

Systematic Weasel said...

Excellently crafted, combining prompts! Excellent magpie! =)

-Weasel

Diane T said...

Stunning, dramatic, and a chilling poem. Very well done!

Carrie Burtt said...

Gautami this is a gripping and powerful piece...i can feel the intensity in your words. :-)

Mary said...

I 'second' others' words. And add BREATHTAKING.

Brian Miller said...

the fierce power contained within your words...took my breath away...nice mag!

Deb said...

I like how you put the body with the built environment.

Jinksy said...

turning you into an apostrophe

What a wonderful way to put somebody in their place!

Cynthia Short said...

Your anger comes through so clearly, and yet you portrayed how anger can make you lose your clarity.

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

scary, angry fear conquering going on here.

Powerful stuff.

Rene

Marianv said...

The old expression "Packed a wallop" comes to mind.

Maya said...

hard and hitting !

pwf said...

You've chosen an elegant punishment for someone who misquotes. Definitely the sort of response that takes some time

Erin Davis said...

"turning you into an apostrophe"--I love this line.

ds said...

I second Erin, "turning you into an apostrophe" is my favorite line too. Such powerful anger and so well done. Thank you for this.

kavisionz said...

ooohhh/... that was dark and chilling!!
Loved the way you have expressed that sentiment here!
Loved the 'apostrophe' bit - fantastic and vivid!

Well played!!