Sunday, September 26, 2010

a gift for you

I see it in flea market
wrap it in an old newspaper-
a snuff box-
denoting my snuffed out feelings,
send you whimsical note-
letting you know of tarnished hope

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why don't you try something in 160 characters? Space included!
Update: I corrected it to flea but I think flee too worked well. What do you think?

31 comments:

vivinfrance said...

How sad, Gautami. But very whimsical!

keiths ramblings said...

What a poignant little piece. Delightful.

Tilly Bud said...

That's so sad.

anthonynorth said...

Yes, sad but definitely whimsical.

˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...

Very sad but an AWESOME 160!

Mine is here

Happy Sunday!

hugs
shakira

Brian Miller said...

perhaps they can add a bit of polish for your tarnish...smiles. things do remind us and bring tactile qualities to our memories

my 160

Mary said...

Wonderfully but sadly whimsical!

Rinkly Rimes said...

You'll have a good sneeze and get over the whole sad episode!

moondustwriter said...

At least there is some tarnished hope.

Nicely wrapped 55

Moon smiles

Deborah said...

So sad but very well done!

Tarun S.K said...

nice..little and beautiful.


By the way, i have tried to write poem in 14o letters.:


How wonderful it is;
When a long forgotten name brings
a smile,
On the other wise deserted lips.

Monkey Man said...

How could such a creative concept not tug at the heart strings of its recipient. Great Sunday 160. Thank you for playing and hope to see you again.

flaubert said...

Beautiful and sad Gautami!
Pamela

Sage said...

Nicely described but sad

Mik said...

Very good, should it be "Flea" market though.

Hey, who let the spelling monkey in? Sorry like I know how to spell!

It's okay you can slap me up the side of the head.

gospelwriter said...

I love "flee" market - fits perfectly with the rest of the story... Nice 160!

Victoria said...

A full range of emotions well-expressed.

happyflowerwordzoo002 said...

Woeful, like word pun (flee) which seems to underscore state of events.

Whitesnake said...

Oh wee of little faith!

Systematic Weasel said...

Short and very whimsical!

-Weasel =)

Caty said...

very good!

pwf said...

Like the language of flowers, a victorian whimsy.

Elizabeth said...

Very emotive Gautami, and I like the word picture you paint. You capture the moment and all those feelings in so little space. Wonderful job,

Elizabeth

Sajeev said...

Thought its sad, its still beautiful to be completed in 160 words. Gr8..:)

www.sajeevnair.com/blog

This Girl Remembers said...

A complete story told so sparely - lovely work!

nimaruichi said...

Fine blend of feelings and expression

Maureen said...

I like that you include the note of hope, tarnished though it may be.

Poignant.

Nara Malone said...

You write about a sad feeling, but I think the creativity powering the thoughts ends on a sign of hope.

Cassiopeia Rises said...

Tami, nothing wrong with this poem Sad can be filled with whimsy too. Great read.


Melanie

Nessa said...

My great grandmother used to snuff.

Alice Audrey said...

Excellent 160, Gautami!! You say so much with this.