Monday, October 31, 2011

innards
















I am caught between the gutter and sidewalk
my heart thumps 
when I see the flickering sunset
my foot hits a bottle
I look down at my bloody toe
which has now carved into a stone
my legs have vanished
my shadow is crooked
and my innards gurgle out
I try to figure out why your body twitched 
when I am the one who is hurt

"I wake to find myself typing away furiously,
my words falling all over-
operation writing accomplished"

31 comments:

Nanka said...

The words tumbled out well and you completed the operation too!! ;)

Morning said...

smart write.

oldegg said...

You are developing such awesome imagery in your writing. In reading this particular piece I can remember so many years ago just that feeling of hurt. Love the culprit again of course!

ayala said...

well penned.

Joann said...

I like it. I feel it.

Tumblewords: said...

Profound and provocative!

Christine said...

as tumblewords said it, very profound indeed

The Old Raven said...

This is an explosion of creativity!!!

Laurie Kolp said...

Visual and profound.

Daydreamertoo said...

Very gruesome, vivid and .... yucky! LOL

Lucy Westenra said...

Your creative juices really flowed! Great Magpie.

jabblog said...

Remarkable!

H.R. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lyn said...

What a sharp, well written piece..deeply felt..

The Write Girl said...

Wonderful writing...I really enjoyed the story you weave in this poem.

Jinksy said...

Tumbling words are better than ones which remain stuck. ♥

juca2 said...

Well-written...liked it. // Peter.

Brian Miller said...

really like that question of why they were the one that twitched...and as always your last line pulls us in whole other directions...

chiccoreal said...

Dear Gautaumi: Sounds like a case of writer-warrior syndrome! Need another case of beer here! Excellent tale told (unfortunately totalled the dear writer!). Blood letting sounds much easier than "twitching". (nerves still alive and full function!)

flaubert said...

I like the image this evokes, Gautami.

Pamela

Mary said...

Clever! The writing is accomplished, but at what price. Your conclusions always enhance the poem. I admire that.

L.A Speedwing said...

profound and evocative indeed.

The Orange Tree said...

smart piece.

miss pie said...

seamless connection... dynamite writing!!!

Shail Raghuvanshi said...

Short and sweet and oh so nice....

mjshorts said...

A gruesome tale well penned.

sharplittlepencil said...

Nice take on the wordle and on the "operation" prompt (hope you were doing them both!). This is visceral and heartfelt at once. I really got into the "love connection." Good writing, my dear! Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/skin-like-a-cloak/

Shauna said...

reminds me of a samuel beckett poem,
desolation with strong clarity.

Anonymous said...

Your words found their way to the surface and they were very good. What descriptive lines.

Poetry of the Day said...

so awesome

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I like the surprise ending.