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| Lee Friedlander, from America by Car |
inside my car I sleep on the wheel
(don't worry, the car is stationary)
my head rolling after hours of driving
I am totally rusted out
can't you make it out from my glaze
which the clouds can't hide
I parked it in a crowded place
buildings all around
I dragged my feet too long over you
now my mind nods to for me to stalk you
my ragged breath walks on the blade's edge
I simply don't care about what is right
I don't wish to build bridges
or straighten my act any more
I am just too stretched out
"you want a new beginning
I will give you that in a gilded cage,
limber up your mind to be a prisoner"
31 comments:
its scary that i can identify! ha ha great writing, though!
"I simply don't care about what is right
I don't wish to build bridges
or straighten my act any more"
Many reach that point, few act upon it. Well written!
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel
i am totally rusted out...ha, nice way to put it...kay also pointed out another great line as well...i like...
"my ragged breath walks on the blade's edge"
This guy is what we call 'on the edge' - you've drawn him so that we feel that one little push will take him to crime or death.
everyone have said it... nice take! love it!
JJRod'z
disturbing, how the mind rationalizes what it wants to do, nice write
Gautami, this gives me the chills. Well wordled!
You do capture a menace lurking in this photo.
A chilling and amazing poem. Nicely written.
Good use of the wordle words.
I particularly liked....
"my ragged breath walks on the blade's edge
I simply don't care about what is right
I don't wish to build bridges
or straighten my act any more"
Nicely done!
Good one!
Very effective; as above, many do reach that point. I've acted on it before, and it's so destructive. Well written!
Gautami, excellent use of the words. Chilling story.
Pamela
Nice write, scary. I wonder if a latent stalker doesn't lie in most of us - there's that need to know...
my ragged breath walks on the blade's edge - brilliant!
Frightening portrait of obsession's destination, Gautami. Well written.
You told the story of the picture very well - felt like I was there.
stalkerish, chilling scene...
nice one ~
Wow, so well written. One really feels the fellow "on the edge". Perfect fit with the image. So well done, and a bit scary.
wear out better than rusted out.
awesome usage of words and image.
Thanks for linking.
I love the ending!
The lit fuse.
I would have to be desperate and glazed to stalk someone in tight spaces, I like your take on it though.Thanks
Oh, what a powerful piece this is. So enjoyed it!
Of course I love your phrase "totally rusted out"...
beautiful surprises on the prompt, mind needs to limber up too.
Great use of the (disguised) wordle words.
fundamental piece.
well done,
my head rolling after hours of driving
I am totally rusted out
reread it, love the lines, a fabulous magpie,
Obsession stalks your words. :) You captured a universal feeling with your use of rusted out. Brilliant
Sounds as though revenge is on the cards...
That's powerful. You really immerse yourself in the situation.
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