music in my mind
flows into yours
intermingling both of us
love clutches my belly
I want to know why
the heart feels that flutter
while I learn you with my body
love clutches my belly
in the essence of you
I fall into overwhelming depths
to rise again to the fore
love clutches my belly
if it goes on like this
I will make that my banner
and post it in an alley
24 comments:
yes well done.
very cool poem. I especially I like the closer.
thanks.
this is cool :) I liked the refrain. It's true!
I love this, especially your first stanza.
while i learn you with my body evokes quite an intimate picture...
"while I learn you with my body".
- a honest and fulfilling way to
learn someone.
the thought of proclaiming your love in an alley...hmmmm...interesting.
make it your banner. i liked this very much:)
touching and visual.
love it.
I love this. The repetition works well to enhance your message.
brilliant. this has the feel of a rumi. something exquisite and just slightly above the rails.
your refrain is amazing and every word in between.
very much appreciated this, this morning.
It beautiful exploration of love and commitment.
sweet.
Happy Picnic.
Beautiful poem. I love the first line especially then it just got better from there. Well done
You composed a great poem for Poetry Jam this week!
I love the repeat of "love clutches my belly." And "while I learn you with my body" is wonderful!
I especially love "I will make that my banner and post it in an alley."
what a great little poem. There seems to be a lot packed into a small space here, brilliant!
fascinating stuff!incisively insightful.
fascinating stuff!incisively insightful.
Beautifully done. I love the idea of the banner.
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel
Lovely love poem. My favorite part is the last stanza :)
"love clutches my belly" really says it all. what a lovely line.
I hope you do make that banner and post it in the alley that would be great
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/10/the-bird-of-love/
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