I am caught between the gutter and sidewalk
my heart thumps
when I see the flickering sunset
my foot hits a bottle
I look down at my bloody toe
which has now carved into a stone
my legs have vanished
my shadow is crooked
and my innards gurgle out
I try to figure out why your body twitched
when I am the one who is hurt
"I wake to find myself typing away furiously,
my words falling all over-
operation writing accomplished"
31 comments:
The words tumbled out well and you completed the operation too!! ;)
smart write.
You are developing such awesome imagery in your writing. In reading this particular piece I can remember so many years ago just that feeling of hurt. Love the culprit again of course!
well penned.
I like it. I feel it.
Profound and provocative!
as tumblewords said it, very profound indeed
This is an explosion of creativity!!!
Visual and profound.
Very gruesome, vivid and .... yucky! LOL
Your creative juices really flowed! Great Magpie.
Remarkable!
What a sharp, well written piece..deeply felt..
Wonderful writing...I really enjoyed the story you weave in this poem.
Tumbling words are better than ones which remain stuck. ♥
Well-written...liked it. // Peter.
really like that question of why they were the one that twitched...and as always your last line pulls us in whole other directions...
Dear Gautaumi: Sounds like a case of writer-warrior syndrome! Need another case of beer here! Excellent tale told (unfortunately totalled the dear writer!). Blood letting sounds much easier than "twitching". (nerves still alive and full function!)
I like the image this evokes, Gautami.
Pamela
Clever! The writing is accomplished, but at what price. Your conclusions always enhance the poem. I admire that.
profound and evocative indeed.
smart piece.
seamless connection... dynamite writing!!!
Short and sweet and oh so nice....
A gruesome tale well penned.
Nice take on the wordle and on the "operation" prompt (hope you were doing them both!). This is visceral and heartfelt at once. I really got into the "love connection." Good writing, my dear! Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/skin-like-a-cloak/
reminds me of a samuel beckett poem,
desolation with strong clarity.
Your words found their way to the surface and they were very good. What descriptive lines.
so awesome
I like the surprise ending.
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