after a stinging bite,
blood oozed out of his arm
it did not jerk, staying
in that still position.
he watched the mosquito
with complete detachment.
only his eyes moved
breathing too was minimal.
the red coagulating fluid
trickled slowly, falling
on the gritty floor.
he observed it with
closely hooded eyes
shifting was alien
for that prone body,
smiling too was a waste
why make that effort?
bones had taken the shape
of that lumpy mattress,
which was grimy too
with sweat and dirt.
he stared at the ceiling
resigned to his atrophied fate
his alert mind itched to work
battered body could only
refuse with deep regret.
15 comments:
there is no regret.
beautifully written
his alert mind itched to work - how well you wove in this bit of information and how well you portrayed that poor man's life.
i cannot imagine being a prisoner in my own body... it is one of the scariest things i can think of....
So very powerful, Gautami. Well done.
A little too close to home for me at the moment but nonetheless very well done.
Gautami - I realy enjoyed the mystery of this piece. It's easy to imagine who this person might be and what brought him to this fate, but in the end one can only wonder. I liked this much.
D
shifting was alien
for that prone body,
smiling too was a waste
why make that effort?
lovely lines gauthami.
Very powerful indeed Gautami! A strong sense of isolated prisoner... excellent read.
I read a lot of pain in this one. The lines
"bones had taken the shape
of that lumpy mattress,"
are amazing.
Oh, the sadness of it. Written with thoughtful care and well-tuned phrases.
This piece stirred the emotions at the subcutaneous level, leaving the frontal lobes amazed by the sweat poring from my helpless hands. Very well done.
Frighteningly descriptive!
Mad Kane
To think a little mosquito could cause such devastation - And how many millions of people have suffered this same way - You've encapsulated what he perhaps, couldn't say. Powerfully written!
great interpretation of the prompt -- I like the contrast of the mosquitos industry with the person's atrophy. Well done!
i once knew a guy who suffered from atrophy...
this brings back some memories...
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