your hands in your pocket
that lopsided smile
your balled handkerchief in right pocket
coat all wrinkled
and jeans so dirty
my monkey reads you well
your feet so dirty
sweat stains on your shirt
your suitcase open
in the centre of the room
a banana on top of it
my monkey reads you well
on that bed
under the covers
sloppily you fall asleep
I scatter the pillows
my deed done so well
my monkey reads me well
it pushes me into the bathroom
under flowing water I wash it
it hands me a towel,
I wipe it clean
taking in back where it belongs
my monkey reads me well
it was I who knifed him
if we had left the room
and gone on our way
but for my monkey who wanted to stay
"and why not, it was his monkey too"
27 comments:
Intriguing, the twist at the end threw me. Is this about external control?
I like the refrain.
citymom
You need to get that money off your back, oh .. you did in the end didn't you!
Oh darn .. I type too slow, "money=monkey", but I know you got my drift.
LOL the word verification on this post is "feces", who would have thought!
Wicked mystery. You have a song here somewhere....
I like the rhythm to it, like a schoolyard chant from a historical incident...in the US it might be "Mother O'leary took the lantern....there'll be a hot time - in the old town - tonight- FIRE/FIRE/FIRE!
I will reread this again...the story is hiding behind the lines but just barely. I liked it. Thank you.
b
http://www.itcrossedmymindblog.com/2010/09/so-is-he-proverbs-23.html
Would you like to borrow my green slippers to clean up that mess? Excellent as always, Gautami.
I like the refrain and this is a bit different for you. Although you do manage a bit of mystery and suspense on a regular basis. Found this one interesting,
Elizabeth
Those monkeys. Impish, clever, always up for a good rompin' adventure.
Liked this a lot, Gautami--a little different than your usual style, but crafted beautifully as per usual!
Didn't expect the ending ... well written!
Ah, that monkey again! Creating his usual nuisance again. Rid us of him Lord!
My goodness! Glad to see you're still at it. The Poetry that is.
great structure! love the imagery too :)
really interesting
Should I caution the monkey to run while he's got the chance? Or is the monkey secretly glad?
Dark poem. Or a psychedelic inside-outside-story. A ballad anyway.
Best wishes
Ralf
interesting piece - we all have that monkey on our backs..Jae
Yes, why not?
This one is very different from your usual style. Liked it, though scene is sad.
love the monkey associated idea, cute poem,
Jingle, this is the second time you commented on one of my poems as cute. How so, I don't understand! I might call it many things but cute? Certainly not!
That monkey is not taking you good places! =) Very creative!
Am back again for Carry On Tuesday prompt. Reread and somehow this time it made a lot more sense. Maybe I was having a bad day the first time around? It is still disturbing though, but only because of its heart of darkness. You did a really good job on this one. You are definitely proving your versatility.
Elizabeth
love the monkey!!! and throwing in the banana.. unhuh quirky spin to an already dark delight... the sky is holding.... glad to be back on the train... missed it...
Dark, absorbing and frightening piece. Getting the monkey on your back to collude with eliminating your pusher or whatever was great, but scary. Now get out of there quick!
I didn't expect that ending.. Loved it..
--Someone Is Special--
Really interesting, G. There's a bunch of ways to read this... I'm going to have to ponder this a bit longer...
Very dark again..........May the sun shine through soon.....yet this is nicely done...
http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/09/monday-poetry-potluck-kings-queens-and.html
Hello, friend:
Our Monday Poetry Potluck Is NOW open, linking is open from Sunday 8pm to Tuesday, 8pm, welcome join us by linking in 1 to 3 poems, you could use an old poem, the more you share, the happier we are…hurry up!
Thanks in advance.
Hope to see you soon…
best wishes...
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