Wednesday, December 19, 2007

amnesia--3WW/Cafe Writing



clumsy
fire
overlooked


child sat near effulgent fire
softly singing-
yet she had no reason to be joyful.
her whole world had shattered,
loss of memory was a blessing.
her mind overlooked immediate deficit
even though forgotten tears
glistened clumsily on her cheeks-
no spark kindled in her consciousness.

mother lay dead- father held for her murder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taking Option One from December Project of Cafe Writing, I use the following words too:

kindle, memory, spark, shattered, effulgent, joyful, softly, glistening




24 comments:

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

Very well written account of trauma. I hope no child will ever again face this.

Rose

xo

My 3WW is up as well. "Signs of the times"

Brian said...

My dear friend, how I wish you were not so far. I know we would enjoy conversing about a great many things.

rwellsrwells said...

Richard

Well, that was a shock! Seemed very Indian, though I know it could happen anywhere. I could just see a little person sitting at a dung fire outside a blue tarp tent on the side of a roadway.

Congratulations on using "effulgent." What a horribly un-euphonic word.

paisley said...

very nicely combined indeed... lovely poem....

"fierenza"

polona said...

shocking story but well done!

TC said...

Oh how horrible! :-/

TC said...

Err, I publish, thinking everyone can read my mind some weeks. This was well written, just a horrible experience for her.

pjd said...

efficient use of so many difficult words.

Linda said...

Oh, my! What a sad picture. I wish your images weren't so good! Well-crafted!

Steve said...

You and i know this kind ofthing happens, which makes this piece even more profound!

tumblewords said...

Well-done piece of horror...shocking last line.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I really hope this wasn't inspired by real life. And if it was, I hope it happened to total strangers -- or, on the flip side, to someone whose life you can touch and improve.

UL said...

That last line sure was a shocker, but also made me sad, reality is sad how much ever we hide from it...thanks again.

UL

lissa said...

Oh, what a story. The last line was a shock.

gautami tripathy said...

Such things do happen. Scary, I know.
Especially in Naxal areas.

Gay said...

That was a shocker of poem, very well-written.
--Gay

Truefaith1963 said...

Great piece, though hard =(
You like a challenge don't you? That's alot of words to fit and you did a fantastic job!
Best wishes for 2008

Christy said...

amnesia would be a blessing in such a situation. How horrible that any child should have to live through such an ordeal. Very well done!

Christy

Anonymous said...

So well done, Gautami, cut right to my heart. I wanted to pick her up and just hold her and sing quietly beneath her voice. Powerful.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie)

Jujee said...

Great poem, title is okay too.
There's great adjectives throughout and wow...what a powerful finish!

Lightheaded said...

This is finely crafted and very sad, Gautami. I feel for the girl.

LittleWing said...

WOW g that was beautifully written...mankind we can be so cruel...but life is full of grace...

mariacristina said...

You wrote in a melachonly tone for a heartbroken girl. no child should have to see that!

A Tag Along Traveler said...

I cant even pick a favorite line. Its perfect.